Long Island Ass Monkeys Just Wanna Make Love For Foo
Alt-rock institution Dave Grohl and his Foo Fighters are set to play a sold-out Madison Square Garden in just a few hours, sending desperate New Yorkers scrambling to the always dicey secondary market in hopes they might still be able to score a 300-level seat behind the stage. These three Nassau County Foo fans are unfortunately too strapped at the moment to pay scalper prices, but while they’re desperate enough to take to Craigslist in search of last-minute remedies, they’re not going to beg for your charity. In fact, perhaps they can help you.
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2008-02-19, 1:46PM EST
Ladies and Gentlemen,
The three of us below need tickets to the Foo Fighters concert desperately. We cannot offer money because we spent all of it on drugs, but we can offer you sexy time. Any position, with any combination or all of us three involved for 3 hours after the concert. This is a real offer. You cannot contact us directly, however you can contact our pimp, Goozmang at 516-423-1891. He can setup all arrangements.
Los Monos Del Culo
P.S. We don’t use rubbers.
And nine months from now we get the Maury episode we’ve all been waiting for.
FOO FIGHTERS TICKETS WANTED. WE HAVE GREAT OFFER. [Craigslist; HT: James Del]