Pot, Meet Kettle: Another Old White Man Tries To Explain Britney

Always say two nice things first, the writing workshoppers tell me, so I’ll grant that Rock and the Pop Narcotic author Joe Carducci makes a good point about Rolling Stone‘s Britney issue: Jann’s other rags are indeed as responsible for the Britpacolypse as the tabloids. (Though who cares about Rolling Stone‘s hypocrisies anymore? Haven’t we all come to terms with that?) And yes, the possibly Wenner-penned sentence comparing Britney to George W. is gaggingly bad. But then he tries to explain Britney, and suddenly there’s not enough hand-waving in the world for this bitch to take flight:

Nowhere in this Britney coverage high and low is any consideration of what she is doing in her roomful of mirrors. She did more than “give it up” in the paparazzi parlance as other stars that subtly position or pose to help them create their shots. She seems to have doubled down on stardom just as it’s dissolving from something once as concrete as George Clooney’s bone structure into something ambient or liquid. Additionally, within the secret world of young women, new rapidly normalizing options like anti-depressants, cosmetic surgery, and period-suppression are whirling into the still unsettled breakthroughs of contraception and abortion. Lindsay Lohan’s sad reprise of Marilyn Monroe’s final photo session before her suicide in a recent issue of New York, and Heath Ledger’s simple drug O.D. seem small compared to the level Britney is operating on. She’s the new media supernaut; I hope she escapes their death watch and lives to tell, or dies in private.

Now, obviously we can’t get behind the commenter who said:

When music writer write about other music writers…

Its really sad…

like when a mime gets hit by a bus.

..since otherwise, how we would be here? Nevertheless, if anyone can explain this one, feel free. Keep in mind you have to rope together the following things: