“American Idol” Says “Hello, Goodbye” To David Hernandez
Veteran Idol watchers love the drama of the “shocking elimination,” but does David H.’s exit qualify as “shocking”? A minor shock, at least: there were only maybe four memorable-in-the-good-way performances on Tuesday night (Chikezie, Carly, David C., Brooke), so any of the remaining eight could have been in trouble. Most writers — this one included — thought that Kristy Lee was clearly a goner after the hatchet job she put on “Eight Days A Week”; I had David H. in 8th place, safe for the week but not long for the show. I also mocked DialIdol for being an outdated predictor that misses key demographics, but lookie here:
7) Kristy Lee 11) David H. 12) Syesha
Maybe people who still have land lines know something about singing that I don’t?
* “Idol Kermlinologists” may be interested in studying more thoroughly the order in which the 12 finalists were announced to be safe (or out, in the case of poor Danny H.):
1) Carly Smithson 2) Michael Johns 3) Jason Castro 4) Chikezie 5) Amanda Overmyer 6) David Cook 7) David Archuleta 8) Brooke Adams 9) Ramiele Malubay
10) Syesha Mercado 11) Kristy Lee Cook
12) David Hernandez
Does that look like a reasonable voting order? I don’t quite think so, although I’m intrigued by both the fact that Carly was the first to be told she was safe, and David A. was forced to wait until the last group of four to find out he was safe. Are TPTB trying to tell us something? Are they trying to tell the Idols something?
* Am I the only one who noticed what a shrinking violet Michael Johns was in the show-opening group number? He completely stopped singing when he was overpowered by both Carly Smithson and Kristy Lee Freakin’ Cook, and only stepped in when he could match mousey Brooke Adams. Hey, Michael, pick on someone your own size!
* Wednesday night saw two former first- and second-place finishers return to Idol. Season 2 winner Ruben Studdard returned in voice-only form singing this season’s “outta here” song, “Celebrate Me Home.” It was passable, and it’ll probably grow on me. But I’m already glad it’s not “Bad Day” or “Home.”
Meanwhile, Season 5 runner-up Katharine McPhee returned to perform, accompanied by super-producer David Foster on piano. Although Kat sadly did not perform Maura-favorite, “Open Toes”, the duo’s understated rendition of George Harrison’s “Something” — where was George on Tuesday? — was lovely and reminded me how much I like Kat’s AC style. Kat and David are “working together” on some unspecified “project” which may or may not be an “album,” but it would be nice to hear more new music from her soon.
* Idol unveiled another feature new to this season on Wednesday night, as Ryan took viewer phone calls live on the air in one segment. This was ridiculously pointless, which only means that it will expand to fill more time in future elmination shows to lengthen the tease about who’s going home.
* I love Cake as much as anyone reading this, I’m sure, but something seemed, I dunno, off about the Idols perform “Going The Distance” in the Ford commercial. Was I just too confused by the non-ironic use of ironic detachment to sell cars — “hey, listen, they’re singing ‘he’s going the distance, he’s going for speed’, and they’re riding in cars!” — or was I secretly wishing that if they had to use something Cake-related track to sell cars, it would be the cover of “I Will Survive”?
Wait, cars! Pretty, shiny cars!
* A results show does not need to be an hour long, of course, and the network execs used the time to force product on a captive audience. One of my least favorite Idol-related traditions returned on Wednesday night, as Jim Carrey “dropped by” to plug his new animated film, Horton Hears A Who, which is — zomg! — a Fox Studios picture. Okay, that’s nice. There’s Jim Carrey in the audience, dressed as an elephant, making elephant shit jokes. Ha ha. Let’s get back to the Idols. Wait, why the fuck is Jim Carrey sitting in the Idol seats now. Why do we have to be subjected to this stupid shit again?