Dolly Parton Will Always Love “American Idol,” Even Though The Kids Weren’t Too Kind To Her Songs
The nine remaining singers on American Idol spun their way through Dolly Parton’s catalog, and hearing them all perform her songs made me really excited about tonight’s elimination episode… because we’re going to hear Dolly sing her own songs, which is the way it should be. Rankings and reactions to last night’s performances after the jump.
1. Michael Johns. Talk about comebacks? Every performance on last night’s show had serious flaws, but Michael’s big-voiced spin through “It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right” was good enough to be the best. Although the lyrical presence of the word “sexy” might turn off the conservative-Grandma crowd, but hey, if he gets voted off there’s always Rock Star: Velvet Revolver.
2. Jason Castro. Jason’s take on “Travelin’ Through” was sweet, both in a sincere way and in a “dude, sweet” way. I could totally see this blaring as four barefoot (and maybe shirtless) dudes in shorts played hacky sack on some Christian college’s quad.
3. Carly Smithson. If I wasn’t looking at the TV, I would have thought I was listening to a Very Special Celine Dion Performance–the more I hear Carly, the more I realize that she’s a vocal ringer for the Quebecois hit machine.
4. David Cook. A restrained-for-him performance of “Little Sparrow” that sounded rushed and veered a little too close to Collective Soul territory. (Yipes!) The arrangement was his own, which proves once and for all that he should stick with jacking already-tested “rock” arrangements of popular songs.
5. Brooke White. Her performance was just fine, although I still dispute Paula’s assertion that she makes an “emotional connection” with the songs she picks. “Jolene” was a case in point: Smiling while singing the pleading chorus undermines any urgency and sadness the song might have. (Save that stuff for the judging panel, OK?) I love the tone of her voice but the “vinegary” quality that so many other writers have been praising consistently gets undermined by her personality.
6. Syesha Mercado. Did anyone think that she wasn’t going to do “I Will Always Love You”? The arrangement was kind of strange, with the first half’s rushed restraint (her attempt at being “Dolly-like,” I guess) obviously setting up for the big Whitney-like note at the end. Which sounded really pitchy and set her up for some obvious comparisons that she can’t live up to. (But hey, look on the bright side, Syesha–at least this way you know Bobby Brown won’t get you hooked on crack.)
7. David Archuleta. After last week’s trip on the Staten Island Ferry, he went back to the ballad well, singing “Smokey Mountain Memories” and making it sound good but… hollow. The fact that he botched his high note was completely ignored by the judges, who seem to be firmly in the tank for him once again.
8. Ramiele Malubay. She admitted that she was starstruck by Dolly, and that gave her her more personality than she’d shown in weeks, although if she’s somehow granted a pass to next week she should have one of those Coke-branded chats that focuses on exactly why she’s so into high-waisted overalls. Her performance of “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” was awkward in a girl-flailing-around-her-bedroom way and way pitchy. And she even did the pouty thing when Simon threw down the “cruise ship” gauntlet.
9. Kristy Lee Cook. Picking “Coat Of Many Colors” camouflaged many of her vocal flaws and allowed her to go for a mini-glory note at the end, but her bland blondeness receded into the background of the show despite the efforts of the makeup team, which plastered so much glitter onto her eyelids I thought she was actually the makeup dummy for the inevitable Disco Night.
WHO’S GOING HOME: I’m waiting for the day that Kristy goes home, but I’m thinking that this is (finally!) Ramiele’s week to pack up her unfortunate fashion choices and head on out. She’ll pout about it, for sure, but she should take solace in the fact that she stayed on for about three weeks longer than she should have.
PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: 8.5/10. I’m thinking she got a haircut recently since she was babbling about awesome hairdos; I’m also thinking that she was on something because she got into what could be best described as a “crowded barroom argument” with Randy over the quality of Carly’s vocals last week, to the point where she was yelling. Even though there was no music playing and no beer on the table, unless Coke’s product placement is being sabotaged.
[Photo: rickey.org]
