Self-fellating Nickelback horrorshow Chad Kroeger has reportedly been found guilty of a 2007 DUI in his native Canada. Sadly for those of you hoping this turn of events might eventually lead to a jail-assisted Kroeger reprieve, he only faces a stiff fine of $600 and the possibly of getting his wheels taken away from him, leaving him plenty of time for more, um, housebound pursuits. [NME]