A JoBromance Forges On, Poor Diction And All

Kate Richardson | April 9, 2008 4:30 am
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Last episode’s dramatic, montage-y rising action proved that it’s emogurl810’s world, and we’re all just living in it. Episode 5 is an introspective exploration of the consequences we face when we tell people we love them. Plus, we get every last tacky detail of Alexis’ jogging outfit and another hilariously accidental oral sex reference.

(Note: same exact video as the last two episodes. (For shame!))

Ada: I…I…I like you Nick… Nick: I like you as a friend too Ada, now come on… Ada: No…what i mean is…I like…like you…not as a friend but more… Nick: Um…I think i may like you too… Ada: *smiles* Nick: *fake smiles* now come on lets go… Ada: *goes down* Kevin: Nick, Joe, Girls, we gotta go home…we are free for the rest of the summer *note: it was summer time* but i promised your moms that we let you go home at exactly 9:00 Alexis: okay…bye guys…we’ll just walk home…coz our home is near yours and your house is near the park…so it’ll take us 5 minutes… Lorelai: smarty pants…less talk, more walk… Miley: bye guys, i had fun! i’ll drive home..*goes home* *NOTE:aw….isnt she sweet?* Hailey: bye miles! *they all go home* *Note: Ada lives with Hailey, Lorelai and Alexis* *with the Jonas Brothers* Nick: *sighs* *whispers* what have i gotten myself into… Kevin: Hey, i heard that, come on tell me, Joe isnt here Nick: Ada told me that she like me and i told her back but i dont really think i like her the way she likes me…im regretting it ever happened… Kevin: okay…let me guess…you still like Alexis… Nick: yes……….. Kevin: sorry bro…i dont know if i can still fix that…just tell me if you have any problems Nick: thanks Kev… Joe:*comes in* ah…everything is going my way… Nick: *whispers* as if…im gonna turn it around…i hope… *with the girls* Alexis: *sighs* Hailey: Why the long face, princess? Alexis: Ada isnt here right? HAiley: right… Alexis: good… Hailey: Whats this all about… Alexis: i cant choose…i love both Nick and Joe… Hailey: just follow your heart, princess… Alexis: tnx angel…but how will Ada react? Hailey: lets just hope for the best… * next morning Alexis goes for a jog* *note: this is what she wore* Alexis- a pink t-shirt with a hoodie and its up to the belly button -red jogging pants – vans shoes, apple design

– pink “princess” hat *on her jog, somebody held her shoulder* WHO HELD HER SHOULDER? KIDNAPPER? ONE OF THE JONAS BROTHERS? ADA? ONE OF HER SISTERS? MILEY? THER COULD BE MANY POSSIBILITIES BUT WHO? peace out,~emogurl810~

Emogurl810 is tempting the immature humorist in all of us with her peculiar word choice in this tree scene. Either she’s being purposefully clever/vulgar, or she’s just the victim cluelessness and unfortunate diction (much more likely). Either way, if she wants to avoid creepy people on the Internet (like me) applying deviant overtones to her Jonas Brothers saga, she should definitely reconsider which verb she uses to convey the tree descent.

I also find the line “Nick, Joe, Girls, we gotta go home…we are free for the rest of the summer *note: it was summer time* but i promised your moms that we let you go home at exactly 9:00” slightly disturbing as it implies that the Jonas Brothers are holding these girls hostage. Again, her verb choice (“let you go home” instead of something like “take you home”) is painting this narrative in more sinister shades than she perhaps intended.

The middle section of this installment is your basic rigmarole about settlig for second best, not being able to decide which Jonas you love more, etc., etc., topped off by the very sage conclusion “just follow your heart, princess.” It’s not much to speak of, as it’s really just the build-up to the thrilling jogging outfit description, a narrative element I don’t think I’ve see employed in such a manner in any medium. It seems as if Alexis likes to jog in her best sorority-girl-on-a-lunch-break outfit, and furthermore apparently does not believe in quality footware (who jogs in Vans?). What does this say about her character? Why does emogurl810 have such a problem with verb usage (“held” instead of “grabbed” at the end? why?)? All I know is that she’s able to casually suggest that one of her main female characters is about to be kidnapped by a Jonas Brother, and for that I will eternally respect her.