A JoBromance Takes An Air Cruise

After last episode’s narratively disastrous tickle fight I was just about ready to give up hope on emogurl810’s sweeping Jonas serial. But something–most likely a severe bout of masochism–compelled me to give episode 7 a chance, which was ultimately the right decision. Not only does this episode feature an impromptu cruise to Hawaii on an airplane , it also has emogurl810’s best tip for attracting cute guys. Hint: not with your intelligence.

Ada: Alexis…Nick… Alexis and Nick: yeah Ada?. Ada: enough with the drama, now lets get partying!. Nick:huh?. Alexis: yeah, for us smartypants, we’re low on understanding the words with party in it.. Nick: *sarcastically* haha, very funny Alexis. Lorelai: oh, did we mention that we’re going on a cruise to Hawaii!. Hailey: and by we, we mean us and the guys!. Joe: yeah, that okay with you guys? Nick:sure.. Alexis: okay…im gonna go pack now… Joe: is that a yes?. Alexis: of course it is, you doof.*giggles*. Joe: hey, im ur doof!. Alexis: *laughs* bye guys… Lorelai, Hailey and Ada: yeah…us too…bye.. *they leave*. Kevin: so…lets get packing… Joe:yeah…. *kevin and joe go to their rooms*. Nick: this is going to be a messy trip…*AN:by messy, he means full of drama*. *with the girls*. Ada:so…girls…what are you bringing? Lorelai: me, my trusty guitar, laptop and clothes. Hailey: clothes, tons of lipgloss for attracting cute guys, and my phone… Alexis: well, to be honest, my teddy bear, diary, iPod touch, guitar, song book *AN: she writes songs* and clothes… Ada:oookay….im gonna ask ur parents and mine if its okay if we will go.. *after a few minutes*. Ada:they said okay and Mrs. Jonas said yes too…. Alexis:okay…*sighs* *whispers* this is going to be a long ride…. *at the plane*. ~Joe sits next to Alexis since Alexis wanted to be near the window~. ~Nick sits in the middle of the plane between Ada and Hailey~. ~Lorelai and Kevin sit together~. *with Alexis and Joe*. Alexis:*sleeps on Joe’s chest*. *with Nick, Ada, Hailey*. Ada:*listening to iPod*. Nick:*whispers* she looks so cute when she sleeps. Hailey: hey i heard that and i know ur talking about Alexis…you dont have to pretend you like Ada forever.. Nick:if only it were that easy…. Hailey: Listen, if its meant to be, its meant to be…but sometimes you have to do things to make fate happen. Nick:yeah, like that’ll happen. Hailey: you’ll understand sooner or later Nick…. *with Lorelai and Kevin*. Kevin: Lorelai, i like this girl but she’s too young and i dont know if she likes me back …what should i do?. Lorelai: tell her and just wait of what will happen…. Kevin: i already told her…. Lorelai: *stops for a while* wait…me? Kevin: yeah…. Lorelai: *blushes* well, i like you too Kevin…. Kevin: so…does this mean we’re bf/gf now?. Lorelai: if you want it to be… Kevin:i want it to be…. Lorelai: then we’re bf/gf…. *they arrive*. *they go out of the plane*. Alexis: Miley! i cant believe ur here! Ada: yeah!. Hailey: this is so cool!. Lorelai: sorry to burst your bubble Miley but Emily is here.. Miley: i know…i gave her a chance but im still keeping an eye in her…she’s a boy stealer…. Emily:*walks toward them* oh, hey guys. didnt know you were coming…. Miley: i just told you a while ago… Emily.: oh, must have forgotten. Ada:*whhispers to Alexis* did you hear that Emily and Joe used to date? Alexis: *whispers back* i know…im keeping an eye on them…. Emily: oh, Alexis…i need to tell you something… WHAT WILL EMILY TELL? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EPISODE? WILL EMILY BE BAD? ~emogurl810~

I love this first bit. It’s so casually dismissive of all pre-established tension in the story, and vaguely reminiscent of Rodney Dangerfield’s famous last line in Caddyshack, which actually might have even worked better here. As in:

Ada: Alexis…Nick…

Alexis and Nick: yeah Ada?

Ada: enough with the drama, we’re all gonna get laid!

But alas, that’s not where a JoBromance ends. No, there’s a cruise yet to be taken. A curiously last-minute cruise that actually takes place on a plane. A plane full of drama! My favorite in-flight conversation is the following:

Nick:*whispers* she looks so cute when she sleeps Hailey: hey i heard that and i know ur talking about Alexis…you dont have to pretend you like Ada forever. Nick:if only it were that easy… Hailey: Listen, if its meant to be, its meant to be…but sometimes you have to do things to make fate happen

Emogurl810, meet Dictionary.com. As I understand the term, fate is beyond human control, beyond even the efficacious grasp of a Jonas brother, so this advice is a tad misleading. Meanwhile, Kevin and Lorelai have an incredibly boring relationship conversation, establishing their characters as the stable couple that nobody cares about. I’ve gotten ahead of myself, though. While it’s not the destination that’s important, it’s not the journey either. It’s what you pack, and emogurl810 knows this all too well. If there’s one thing we can take away from this episode, it’s to never leave for a cruise on a plane without lip gloss, otherwise you will NOT attract any guys. Do you hear that tween girls? Boys! Like! Shiny! Lips!

Let’s see, what else? Emily shows up again. We haven’t seen her since episode 4, when she was kissing “mr. Cody fancypants” and just being the all-around heinous bitch that she is. I want to know more about Emily, really–her villainy, her tendency to forget that she was invited on trips and then to be surprised by the presence of the people who invited her. She seems intriguing. And if I know emogurl810, her affinity for boy-stealing will come into play in episode 8. And then it will be abruptly dismissed in favor of more tickle-centric storylines.