Yahoo! Ranks Hair Metal Bands, Causes Me To Pull My Hair Out

noah | May 2, 2008 1:30 am
i totally had this picture in my locker

Any list of the best and worst “hair metal” (sigh) bands that has Ratt on the former list and Skid Row on the latter (did dude never hear Slave To The Grind?) automatically seems suspect to me, and the two lists proferred by Yahoo! “list guy” Rob O’Connor–topped by Guns N’ Roses and Poison, respectively–continue to disappoint throughout, although I’m glad that they’re providing post fodder on a slow Friday. Kiss on the best list and Extreme on the worst list? The New York Dolls as a “hair band”? The freaking Scorpions ranked higher than Enuff Z’Nuff, Faster Pussycat, and L.A. Guns? Calling out bands for having lots of rotating members while praising Axl Rose? Rob and I apparently agree on the suckiness of W.A.S.P., but I chalk that up to the theory behind broken clocks being right now and again, too. Full lists after the jump.

THE 25 BEST HAIR METAL BANDS 25) Winger 24) L.A. Guns 23) Queensryche 22) Enuff Z’Nuff 21) Hanoi Rocks 20) Angel 19) Loverboy 18) Faster Pussycat 17) Bon Jovi 16) RATT 15) Quiet Riot 14) Kix 13) Vixen 12) Scorpions 11) Cinderella 10) Twisted Sister 9) Spinal Tap 8) Motley Crue 7) Ozzy Osbourne 6) Kiss 5) Aerosmith 4) Def Leppard 3) New York Dolls 2) Van Halen 1) Guns n’ Roses

THE 25 WORST HAIR METAL BANDS 25) Mr. Big 24) Y&T 23) Bang Tango 22) Shotgun Messiah 21) Lizzy Borden 20) Trixter 19) Danger Danger 18) Autograph 17) Dokken 16) Bulletboys 15) Lita Ford 14) Stryper 13) Great White 12) Slaughter 11) Giuffria 10) White Lion 9) Damn Yankees 8) Warrant 7) Bad English 6) Europe 5) Whitesnake 4) W.A.S.P. 3) Extreme 2) Skid Row 1) Poison

And now, a song better than anything ever put out by the freaking Scorpions. (I’d say “And Ratt, too,” but “Round And Round” owns.)

Yahoo! Names 25 Worst Hair Metal Bands [Sleaze Roxx] Yahoo! Names 25 Best Hair Metal Bands [Sleaze Roxx]