Idolator Presents Its Entry In The “American Idol” Song Competition

anthonyjmiccio | May 5, 2008 2:00 am
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The “song contest” portion of American Idol, in which hopefuls around the country pen the coronation song for one of the Davids whoever winds up winning this season, is enough of a laughingstock that even Simon Cowell’s mocking it: “You can guarantee either the word ‘proud’ or ‘moment’ will be in the song. How about ‘I’m Proud to Be in this Moment Now’?” Ho snap! Well, if it’s that much of a laugh, then there’s no reason I can’t offer my own lyric for next year. Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy “There But For The Grace Of Clive.”

I’ve given half my life to this industry And all I ever hear is it’s him or me Sometimes I just cant tell If it’s worth the tears

A & R rep called me “amateur” Was my butt too big or my heart too pure? Will America ever hear me After all the years?

(chorus) This is the show that makes a dream come true On American wings one soul will fly I’ll make it through, if barely alive And there but for the grace of Clive… go I

Competition takin’ a toll on my soul Should I make it rock or let it roll? What does Simon want? What will Paula say?

Is tonight the night that I’m not the bomb? Will the curse of the first be my Vietnam? Will I close the Wednesday show or see another day?

(chorus) This is the show that makes a dream come true On American wings one soul will fly I’ll make it through, if barely alive And there but for the grace of Clive… go I

Now Ryan says my name one last time The other David’s standin’ by me cryin’ I made it through, if barely alive And there but for the grace of Clive, go I!

(saxophone solo)

Woooah oohhhhh Woooah Woaaahh Woooah Woooah Oohhhhh

The grace of Clive God bless the grace of Clive

There is a melody, but sadly I have no access to any of the instruments or recording equipment necessary to make this my now. Who knows, maybe I could submit it next year. Let “the other David” be more of a metaphorical thing.

Simon Cowell defends Paula Abdul, mocks ‘American Idol’ songwriting competition [EW]