Dear Portfolio: No matter what Sarah “Ultragrrrl” Lewitinn tells you, “eschew[ing] the popular computer program Serato Scratch Live to manage [your] playlists and instead [using] CD players connected to a mixer” has jack shit to do with “greater discipline” being forced upon you. Not to begrudge anyone who can actually get away with charging $250 an hour to play “Come on Eileen” and “Billie Jean,” of course; I used to do something similar when I was seven years old by putting sticks in paper containers and attempting to sell the result as “firewood.” [Portfolio]

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