Major Label May Just Be Desperate Enough To Sign Joe The Plumber
Inexplicable symbol-with-legs Samuel Wurzelbacher–known to the news media as “Joe The Plumber,” even though his name isn’t Joe–has decided to go all Hollywood, presumably because he isn’t licensed to perform plumbing operations in his home city and probably never will be after all the antics he’s engaged in since being thrust into the national spotlight. He’s signed with a Nashville-based PR firm to “create new media opportunities,” and one of the ideas knocking around their office is–wait for it–Joe maybe signing with a major label’s Nashville arm. Even though he can’t really write songs. America: Land of opportunity, especially if you have a “strong political point of view”!
Might I suggest a cover of Weezer’s “Pork And Beans” for your first single, Joe? Not only can you rework the lyrics so they’re all about getting the pork out of Washington, your quickly ticking 15 minutes of fame are not unlike those enjoyed by the other stars of the video.
You’re totally the Tay Zonday of the Republican Party! Except maybe you should get really good at an instrument, since your only skills at this point seem to be shooting your mouth off about Israel and getting replaced by another guy who can be reduced to his name and his occupation.