I Need Halloween Help

Lucas Jensen | October 30, 2008 11:30 am

I ain’t gonna front: I am one of those too-old-for-this idiots who takes Halloween very seriously. To be fair, Athens is Halloween Bonkers: Every single person in town gets dressed up, from the frat boys to the homeless to the bitter, bitter townies. Like everything in my life, I treat it as a competition, and I usually do aight in terms of costumes. I’ve been a smashing Elton John a couple of times (unfortunately, there is a resemblance). I’ve been the Brawny Paper Towel Man and Robert Smith, and once, I was Pikachu in a costume made for eight-year-olds. Pikachu hid nothing that night.

I think these are two of my greatest accomplishments. Me as an Andy Warhol print of myself. Save for the makeup, this took about 10 bucks at Kinko’s and an hour or so of prep. It was a pain to walk around carrying it, though, because everybody kept walking into me.

Last year, I went as Benny from ABBA. I think we pulled it off.

I gravitate toward the music-related costumes usually, but this year I am at a complete loss. My ABBA team is disbanded, nobody ever wants to do my Plan 9 From Outer Space or Manos: The Hands of Fate ideas. Walking around as someone from “Pop Song 89” in Athens would hit just a little too close to home.

I turn to you, Idolator readers. Here I am. I am a blank canvas. Paint me. I am your clay. Mold me so I don’t have to resort to rocking out with my cock out.

ABBA photo courtesy of Mike White.