Making Your Thanksgiving-Week TV Watching So Much More Musical!

Michaelangelo Matos | November 26, 2008 1:30 am

Thanksgiving only seems like a dowdy holiday. Turkey, football, family, autumn leaves buried beneath incipient slush–all wonderful, none especially flamboyant. (Well, maybe the football is–I don’t know.) However, TV this Thanksgiving week is teeming with an array of musicians who’ve either been regulars in Vegas, Branson, and/or Broadway, or are on their way there. (You just know the Foo Fighters are going to headline some ’00s stage once the casino owners have merged into three factions.) Americans, celebrate your country by celebrating its glitz:

Rosie’s Variety Show (NBC, 8 p.m. EST, Wed., Nov. 26) This ought to be a Battle of the Network Stars of fabulosity: “You never know what will happen when Rosie takes the stage with stars such as Alec Baldwin, Alanis Morrissette, Jane Krakowski, Ne-Yo, Liza Minnelli, Rachael Ray, Harry Connick Jr., Clay Aiken, Gloria Estefan, and Kathy Griffin.” I have an idea or two, but I’ll save it for the live-blog. (Psyche.)

Top Chef (Bravo, 10 p.m. EST, Wed., Nov. 26) Tonight, on the third episode in the fifth season of our most beloved elimination-contest rubbernecker, the Foo Fighters will have a Thanksgiving meal cooked for them by the contestants. (Can’t wait to see how stiffly the product placements will go.) The preview by itself has taught me a lot: namely, that Dave Grohl and Co. “just have this aura around them” (it’s called waxy yellow buildup), and that the bearded S.F. gay guy has an apparently uncontrollable crush on lead judge Tom Colicchio. Tension! Suspense! Albums that might as well be carbon copies of the ones before them! This one clearly has it all.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC, 9 a.m. all zones, Thu., Nov. 27) Headliner: Miley Cyrus. Others performing: David Archuleta, the Cheetah Girls, Trace Adkins, Kristen Chenoweth, James Taylor (?), Andy Williams (??). How they’ll compare to the giant Marmaduke: not even close.

NFL: Detroit Lions vs. Tennessee Titans at Ford Field (CBS, 12:30 p.m. EST, Thu., Nov. 27) Halftime show: Jesse McCartney, who inspired this rather wonderful retort from The Big Lead’s Ty Duffy:

Detroit doesn’t have much. The economy is terrible. The Lions are worse. Through thankful tradition, we get one day a year of national prominence. Could you choose a Detroit musician?

Cleveland named Rock N’Roll, Detroit invented it. It brought the world Motown, Hard Rock and Techno. Besides cheap pizza and poorly designed cars, Detroit’s greatest contribution to American culture is its music. Celebrate it.

NFL: Dallas Cowboys vs. Seattle Seahawks at Cowboys Stadium (Fox, 3:15 p.m. EST, Thu., Nov. 27) Halftime: The Jonas Brothers. We live in rather odd times.