The Grammy Awards Awards: Laziest Nominee

Christopher R. Weingarten | February 3, 2009 1:00 am

Do you have your Grammy office pools all straight? And your face paint? And the big tub of guacamole for the nobody who’s coming to your Grammy party? And by “Grammy party” I mean “watch a few highlights on YouTube while picking pretzel crumbs from your lap”? Well, you’re ready to check out the second installment of Idolator’s Grammy Awards Awards: Laziest Nominee, which recognizes obscene laziness on the part of the artist (“Hey, I can just re-record this song!”) or the nominating committee (“Hey, Radiohead! I recognize their name!”)

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance: Paul McCartney, “I Saw Her Standing There”

Not only is this some song I think McCartney’s performed once or twice, but it was recorded live at an in-store performance at Amoeba. Some crusty clerk, fresh off ringing up the seventh Vampire Weekend album of the day, just tosses old Macca a guitar and on come the Grammys!

Best Pop Instrumental Album: Larry Carlton, Greatest Hits Rerecorded Volume One

Says Larry, “My decision to re-record my greatest hits came from a place of gratitude, for my career and to my loyal fans.” Say his fans, “You’re welcome?”

Best Dance Recording: Daft Punk, “Harder Better Faster Stronger (from Alive 2007)”

Just like the track the Grammys didn’t nominate in 2002, but with the screams of a bunch of overexcited wieners who are at the one electronic concert they’ll see all year.

Best Recording Package: No Age, Nouns

If you wanted to look at a bunch of pictures of scenesters, you can pick up an issue of Vice at any American Apparel, guys.

Best Short-Form Music Video: Weezer, “Pork And Beans”

Like giving a MacArthur Genius Grant to a LOLcat. Fuck you.

And The Envelope, Please: Congratulations, Paul McCartney! Promoting your records at stores is part of your job, not something you need a statue for. Are you going to lobby for an Emmy for appearing on Late Night With Conan O’Brien next?

The 51st Annual Grammy Nominations [] 2009 Grammy Nominees