Miley Cyrus Believes Casual Racism Is Just Part Of God’s Plan
Miley Cyrus has apologized a second time for making wacky Asian faces in a candid photo. Mainly because making wacky Asian faces is totally insulting and stupid, but also because her first apology was a shitty, insincere, total-non-apology. Anyway, according to Miley, this whole experience is part of God’s Plan, a mysterious tome that contains a footnote on page 387,309,339,100,909,289,220: “Honestly, sometimes thy must poke fun of the Asians.”
If you missed Miley’s first “apology,” which appeared on her official site, it said:
In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of been anyone else, it would of been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new ‘BAD GIRL’!”
Coincidentally the guy in the back making bucky-teeth with his fingers was also just itching the spot where hie felt his first mustache was about to grow. I mean, I don’t expect articulate statements on race relations from 16-year-olds, but she’s not too young to at least be accountable for her actions.
And what do people do when they don’t want to take full responsibility? Put it in God’s hands! Now there’s a new message:
I want to thank all of my fans for their support not only this week, but always! I really wanted to stress how sorry I am if the photo of me with my friends offended anyone. I have learned a valuable lesson from this and know that sometimes my actions can be unintentionally hurtful. I know everything is a part of GOD’s ultimate plan, and mistakes happen so that eventually I will become the woman he aspires me to be. Peace and love, Miles
Too bad God’s Ultimate Plan doesn’t include a clause about Hannah Montana cereal, of which I ate 1/4 a bowl this weekend. Because I can’t imagine the Big Man wants a cereal that tastes like potpourri.