Elvis Crespo Misunderstands The “Mile High Club” Concept

The summer before between high school and the beginning of my brief college experience, I waited tables at a senior citzen home’s cafeteria, ate at T.G.I. Friday’s every night, and watched MTV Latino. That’s about it. I’m certain that MTV Latino, which seemed to only exist within my cable lineup for a few months, played the wide selection of music videos the MTV brand is known for, but I only remember three: the delightful lightweight pop of Marta Sanchez‘s “Desesperada,” Los Fabulosos Cadillacs‘ “Matador,” and Elvis Crespo‘s “Suavemente.” Now, Mr. Crespo, who I’ve managed to not really think about in the time period since that summer (except those odd moments at social functions when I yell out the song’s lyric “Suavemente… I want to touch your legs, kiss me once again”), has managed to damage my memories by getting busted masturbating on a plane.

Sure, the flight between Houston and Miami is known as being via a particularly erotic route, but really, Elvis, you couldn’t wait?

The Grammy winner was masturbating in view of other passengers Thursday, prompting the plane’s captain to radio the Miami International Airport’s air traffic control tower, the police report said….

When asked by police at the airport about the accusation, the 37-year-old Puerto Rican singer said: “I don’t recall doing that.”

…According to the police report, 52-year-old Patricia Perea of Canyon Gate, Texas, told police she was sitting next to the singer of the hit song “Suavemente.” She said that about 15 minutes after the plane left Houston, Crespo covered himself with a blanket and began to masturbate, then exposed himself.

For shame, Elvis Crespo. That sort of thing might be acceptable in first class, but in coach, there’s rules against that sort of thing. I’m sure he’ll be on Sabado Gigante or a very special episode of El Gordo y la Flaca in a few weeks crying about his sex addiction, but the trust between artist and casual listener has been broken, perhaps irreprably. The day Elvis Crespo decided to pleasure himself before the drink cart came by…that was the real day the music died.

For your enjoyment and my nostalgia, a tour through my memories of MTV Latino circa 1994.

Elvis Crespo, “Suavemente (remix)”:

Marta Sanchez, “Desesperada”:

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs, “Matador” (some genius disabled embedding on the actual video, so you get the song matched up with Diego Maradona highlights, which might be slightly more enjoyable anyway):

Elvis Crespo Accused Of Mile-High Masturbation [Billboard]