Web Site Explains Rap Music To CollegeHumor Readers, Other Jerks

Christopher R. Weingarten | March 31, 2009 12:00 pm

Remember that e-mail forward your dad sent you a few years ago, about Oakland’s “Ebonics translation competition.” And Biggie’s “One More Chance” was translated into stiff, academic language? And a good time was had by all, especially racist assholes who like to criticize the way other people talk? Well, imagine that e-mail is now a Web site that is sending out press releases, and probably desperately clawing for one of those Web site book deals right now! Just warning you…

UnderstandRap.com lets people who don’t understand rap music submit confusing terms (parts of lyrics) used in rap songs for other people to explain.

For example, the term “thought I was burnt up like Pepsi did Michael” from a Kanye West song is explained: “Kanye is comparing the fearful, worried reactions people had after finding out he was in a car accident to the reactions people had when finding out Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire on the set of a Pepsi commercial he was filming in the early 1980s.”

Another example: “I’m comin’ with a gun like a Nintendo” is a Term from a Lil Wayne song. An explanation is that “Lil Wayne is bringing a gun with him wherever he’s going, just like the Nintendo Entertainment System came with a zapper gun to play the video game Duck Hunt.”

First off, if you don’t know what Duck Hunt is, you probably lack the mental capacity to listen to any part of a rap song without accidentally swallowing your headphones or something. Also, here’s a pro tip: There’s already tons of sites describing rap slang! One is Urban Dictionary. Another is Google.

Finally while, yes, sometimes rap slang is impenetrable and can use an explanation, do we really need to make a huge production out of turning it into wack academic talk. There has to be a better way to explain “she got on Payless, me I got on gator shoes ” than “while she is wearing shoes from Payless that look good and are affordable, I have no concerns when it comes to cost and will splurge on expensive shoes made of alligator skin which are much more stylish.” Imagine if when you read Shakespeare in high school, your teacher explained his artful wordplay with strained, ridiculous, clinical talk for the lols. LOL PEOPLE TALK DIFFERENT HAHA “THINE”

By the way, Professor Big L already covered this in 1998 with a pretty thorough lecture:

Big L Ebonics [YouTube] UnderstandRap.com [Official site]