Five Reasons Ted Nugent Should Pick Me To Be His Prey On CMT

Dan Gibson | April 3, 2009 12:30 pm

As of today, August can’t get here soon enough. By that time, not only might it stop being unbearably hot here in Arizona, but CMT will be rolling out Runnin’ Wild … From Ted Nugent. The premise of the program is largely discernible from the title: People run from Ted Nugent, and (to make things slightly less fair) his son Rocco. I wouldn’t say it’s been my life dream to be hunted as prey, but I would like to publicly throw my hat into the ring to be considered for the honor. After the jump, a few reasons why the producers should start looking for my contact info.

1. I read that “Running Man” short story back in the day, and I seem to remember bits of the movie adaptation.

I feel like that information will help somehow, although I think I might be a little more ready for Treadmill to Bucks.

2. I actually purchased, with actual money, a copy of the Nuge‘s 2002 album Craveman.

As of today, I also have not made an attempt to turn this disc in for store credit somewhere.

3. I already watched, and occasionally set my DVR to record, the other two basic cable shows that were variations on the same “Surviving Ted Nugent’s Crazy Lifestyle” theme, including the one where Tila Tequila appeared.

Also, on more that one occasion, I mentioned to people that I would have been willing to pay to see Damnocracy live.

4. I will allow the little tag they put under my name on the show to be “Professional Blogger”.

The script basically writes itself, doesn’t it? Sure, Maura has been the one who said the somewhat nasty things about the Nuge on the site in the past (although I don’t know if he would actually be insulted by the description “guitarist/outdoorsman/author/general loudmouth”), but watching the out-of-shape online opinion guy run from the hunting experts should make for entertaining television.

5. I watch a lot of CMT, and unless they decide to make my real dream come true and let me be a talking head on one of those list shows with Chet Flippo, this might be my best chance to get on the network.

I can’t sing, so Can You Duet is out; I’m already married; I own neither a truck or a mobile home. So the options are limited. Help me out here, Viacom.

Runnin’ Wild … From Ted Nugent Competition Series Coming to CMT [CMT]

Tags: