T-Pain For President Of Florida State University? Sure, Why Not?

noah | August 6, 2009 11:00 am

Times have been tough at Florida State University, with the school’s president announcing that he was resigning and the school’s reputation as a party school falling short of that achieved by its in-state rival, the University of Florida. How will the university bounce back? One group of students has an idea: Make the Autotune-happy T-Pain, who just so happens to be from the Tallahassee area, the university’s next president. Hey, he does have a “proven track record of success,” or at least more than one single that was a hit from his most recent record. What more do you need these days? The next generation of student activists offers up their manifesto after the jump.

We need new leadership. Someone who knows the unique needs of a school like FSU. Someone who grew up in Tallahassee, who can relate to the people. Someone with a proven track record of success. We want T-Pain! With your support, we hope to encourage T-Pizzle to throw his hat in the ring and become a Sanga Ternt Prazzadint. Together, we can do it! We’re calling on the Florida State University Board of Trustees to elect Faheem Rasheed Najm (“T-Pain”) as the next President of FSU. When elected, T-Pain will fulfill all of his pledges from the Cam-Pain trail: -Widespread collaboration among the faculty of different departments: Guest spots on each other’s papers and projects. -Complimentary Dranks for everyone (students and faculty) representing FSU at all academic conferences. -Annual Ice Cream Social to take place On A Boat. -Replacing the water in all campus fountains and water fountains with Cham-Pain. -The formation of the FSU College of Hip Hop, with a new Rap Concert Hall to break ground in Spring 2010.

It’s OK if you want to weep for the future. Really. (Although hey–if times get tough, the president could always hock his Big-Ass Chain in order to help fill the endowment coffers.) T-Pain for President Of Florida State University [Facebook] Will FSU go from T.K. to T-Pain? [Tallahassee.com; HT shorterexcerpts]