No. 47: Akon, “Sorry, Blame It On Me”
You’d think that someone would have told Akon, the go-to hook man of the mid-’00s, that starting his apologia “Sorry, Blame It On Me” by saying that he intended “to apologize for things I have done, and things that haven’t occurred yet, and things they don’t want to take responsibility for” probably wasn’t the best way to come off as a sincere guy. Then again, you’d think that someone would have told him the old “the dog ate my Internet while I was on tour with Gwen Stefani” excuse wasn’t really going to fly, either.
When “Sorry Blame It On Me” debuted in mid-2007, Akon was dealing with a variety of public-relations disasters related to his humping people on and hurling people from stages. “Sorry” was part of his attempt to burnish his public image, only its confused lyrical intent and the aforementioned intro only served to make one wonder if this bit of contrition was better off appearing on his MySpace blog—or perhaps even in private, or maybe even nowhere at all. In a sing-song melody that came straight from the playground, he took the following tack: First, he apologized to his “girl”; then, he apologized to his mother, in part on his father’s behalf; and finally, he sorta-not-really-apologized to the “haters,” while taking time out to scorn those who had wronged him:
I’m sorry that it took so long to see They were dead wrong trying to put it on me I’m sorry that it took so long to speak But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt For the embarrassment that she felt Just a little young girl trying to have fun Her daddy should never let her out that young I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down I hope they manage better next time around How was I to know she was underage In a 21 and older club they say Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame Verizon backed out disgracing my name I’m just a singer trying to entertain Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame Even though the blame’s on you Even though the blame’s on you Even though the blame’s on you I’ll take that blame from you
Yes, that’s right: Everything that happened on that stage is the fault of bad parenting and even worse bouncing, and also Akon apparently didn’t have the Internet while he was on tour with Gwen Stefani. Also, dude, Verizon dumped you and you’re still going to name-drop the brand in your song? I can’t tell if it’s pathetic in a “please take me back, I’ll still shill for you even though you wronged me” way or just dumb.Akon – Sorry Blame It On Me [Dailymotion]Akon [Official site]F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One