Presenting A Way To Introduce Guns N’ Roses To Your Child Without All That Cussing And Drug-Referencing

noah | October 21, 2009 11:00 am

Looks like the next big demographic to be exploited is “youngish parents with hard-rock pasts who don’t want to kill their cool factor with Raffi CDs”: A company called Rockabye Baby has just released Lullaby Renditions Of Guns N’ Roses, a 12-track album that transforms the hedonistic hits of the notorious band into songs that can help quiet children. Fortunately (or not?), concerned parents won’t need to explain what “with your bitch slap rappin’ and your cocaine tongue, you get nothing done” means, since all the lullaby versions have been stripped of their lyrics and transformed into “gentle renditions of GNR’s metal classics” that are all-instrumental. The track listing (which does include “You Could Be Mine,” oh yes): 01. Welcome To The Jungle 02. Sweet Child O’ Mine 03. Paradise City 04. Live & Let Die 05. November Rain 06. You Could Be Mine 07. Mr. Brownstone 08. Estranged 09. Yesterdays 10. Don’t Cry 11. Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door 12. Patience The official site has sound samples. “Sounds like the music from Myst got inseminated by one of those ‘_____ band as played by four cellos’ albums that were a fad for a bit in like 2003,” my pal Chris Steffen said to me after scrolling through a few of them. But I think “Mr. Brownstone” actually sounds kind of pretty, which makes me wonder if it’ll eventually result in inuring children to the horrors of heroin? Guess we’ll find out in about 15-18 years!Lullaby Renditions of Guns N’ Roses [Rockabye Baby Music via GNRDaily]