No. 31: 50 Cent, “Amusement Park”

noah | November 9, 2009 1:00 pm

“Shorty, you ain’t gotta take your panties off… just move ’em to the side.” Never let it be said that Curtis Jackson isn’t a romantic!

Opening with a very classy line about just how he would get to his paramour’s ladyparts—it certainly takes balls, I guess, to start off your track with an image that’s a throwback to a key scene in the 1996 thriller Fear—50 Cent’s 2007 “Amusement Park,” was a hit-you-over-the-head followup to “Candy Shop” that was supposed to serve as an invitation to a sexual great adventure of sorts, with really obvious references to “riding” roller coasters, water rides, and carousels. But the overall effect was like riding one of those mouse-coasters that spin around maybe once or twice before using up four of your tickets—i.e., not fun at all. Curtis drawls middle-school sex euphemisms like “watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat / then I can use the rabbit all over your cat” with all the passion of someone who checking his stock quotes in another browser window. Not exactly someone you want to use your E-Ticket on, you know?50 Cent Amusement Park [Dailymotion]This Is 50 [Official site]F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One