The Onion Sorts Out The Least Essential Albums Of 2009

Robbie Daw | December 22, 2009 3:21 pm

Thank goodness the Onion’s A.V. Club  susses out the least essential albums clogging the market each year. How else would consumers be warned of the perils of, say, Playlist: The Very Best Of Clay Aiken or Johnny Cash Remixed while out splurging during the busy fourth quarter shopping season?

Do you think a trivial thing like a recession is enough to deter holiday shoppers with a few extra nickels in their pockets from picking up Katy Perry’s Unplugged set? Hell, no! Bad taste will always transcend market forces.

Hop below to see the A.V. Club’s list of the Least Essential Albums Of 2009. (And tell Aunt Barb sitting at the table beside you to put her wallet back in her purse.)

Least essential remix album: grave-desecration division: Various Artists, Johnny Cash Remixed

Least essential peek behind the curtain: Katy Perry, Unplugged

Least essential comeback by the most obnoxiously awful and sort of Christian-y hard-rock band of the last 20 years: Creed, Full Circle

Least essential celebrity vanity album (and that’s really saying something): The Boxmasters, Modbilly

Least essential album of music that parents think is cool, dumbed-down for their kids: Various Artists, Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions Of Guns N’ Roses

Least essential album by a celebrity who doesn’t actually appear on it: Various Artists, Bill Cosby Presents The Cosnarati: State Of Emergency

Least essential act of generational grave robbery: Nat “King” Cole, Re:Generations

Least essential solo album by the least essential Red Hot Chili Pepper: John Frusciante, The Empyrean

Least essential cash-in on the overwhelming grief for a dead pop star (that wasn’t perpetrated by a member of that pop star’s family): Michael Jackson, The Remix Suite

Least essential greatest-hits collection that makes a mockery of the very notion of a greatest-hits collection: Clay Aiken, Playlist: The Very Best Of Clay Aiken

Least essential rap album by a stand-up comedian: Mike Epps, Funny Bidness: Da Album

Least essential entry in a long-running series that doesn’t feature the word “NOW” in the title: Voices: WWE The Music Vol. 9

Least essential album of 2009: Everclear, In A Different Light