‘American Idol’: The Top 12 Guys Were Worse Than The Top 12 Girls

Robbie Daw | February 25, 2010 6:37 am

Wednesday night it was the guys’ turn to prove their worth on American Idol. And if you thought the ladies were lacking a certain fire on Tuesday, then the men of the Top 24 must have seemed like blocks of ice. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But for a season in which, only a week ago, the judges were lamenting that there were just too many talented contestants to choose from, we’re suddenly left wondering if there’s enough ability left in this group to merit 24 slots. So far Season 9 has us longing for Kradison.

Ellen Watch: With Ellen DeGeneres’ stint as an Idol judge now underway, a curious thing happened during the Top 12 guys’ performance night. After Jermaine Sellers made what seemed like a hot mess of Oleta Adams’ “Get Here,” Simon told the 27-year-old contestant that he blew it. Ellen, sitting at the complete opposite end of the table, immediately piped up, however, and said that she disagreed with the soon-to-be-departed judge. The look on Simon’s face was less contempt than boredom — after all, only three more months till he’s outta there. But make no mistake, one of two things is going on here: DeGeneres is either drawing an even clearer line between herself and Simon on the judges table in a bid to prove herself as the most fearless one on the panel, or she’s just completely deaf. And we doubt it’s the latter, because the rest of her critiques throughout the night seemed pretty sound.

Anyway, on to the guys.

Todrick Hall: The main pointer the judges shared with the girls Tuesday night was that, going forward, they need to take whatever song they choose and make it their own. Todrick really seems to have taken this to heart, since he reinterprets Kelly Clarkson’s pop-rock stomper “Since U Been Gone” as a slow funk jam. Props to Todrick for switching it up. But that said, the whole performance was just kind of a terrible mess. The judges weren’t feeling it, either. Randy Jackson sums it up bluntly (but perfectly): “You never want to take the song and completely obliterate it.”

Aaron Kelly: Aaron sings “Here Comes Goodbye” by Rascal Flatts, and upon hearing it, country doesn’t really seem like this kid’s genre. Altogether it’s just very boring — which is strange, because Aaron has wowed so far. But thank goodness the 16-year-old didn’t forget lyrics this time, as he did during his final Hollywood audition. Ellen thinks Aaron is going to be here a long time and loves how humble he is. Meanwhile, Kara actually likes the pop-country genre for him. Oh, shut up, Kara.

Jermaine Sellers: A slight butchering of a great song — Oleta Adams’ mournful, haunting love ballad “Get Here.” What’s interesting is that Jermaine, with his high tenor voice, actually hits the octaves Adams does in the original verison. His problem, however, is that he goes way off key while attempting showy vocal acrobatics. The judges all feel he was pushing too hard, with Simon adding that he “blew it.”

Tim Urban: In Tim’s montage before his performance, Idol acknowledges that he was asked to come back and join the Top 24 after initially being cut — but still fails to ever make mention of the minor Chris Golightly scandal that enabled Urban to have a second shot. At any rate, he does an excruciating take on OneRepublic’s “Apologize.” Please, Tim — never attempt to sing falsetto again, even after you get the boot (hopefully this week). Simon ultimately says the judges absolutely made the right decision the first time around, when they kept him out of the Top 24.

Joe Munoz: Twenty-year-old Joe takes on Jason Mraz’s “You And I Both.” At first it comes off like his nerves are taking over. But despite the shaky first bit, he pulls it all together halfway through, and this actually seems like a really good song choice for him. Randy disagrees with that sentiment, but Ellen says Joe looked comfortable on the stage and Kara thinks he’s been the best of the evening so far.

Tyler Grady: Tyler, dude, we get it. You have big hair. You play drums. You’ve brushed up on your Woodstock 101. You must, therefore, rock. But the whole Jim Morrison schtick, while cute during the auditions, has got to go. Tyler walks through some cliched moves while singing The Guess Who’s “American Woman,” and while he does a good job of connecting with the audience and the camera, his ’70s rocker gimmick is just getting old. The judges tell him to ditch the posing.

Lee Dewyze: You can’t help but feel it’s sort of a David Cook/Kris Allen redux a little with Lee Dewyze. The only difference is that those two had what it takes to win the competition, and, tonight at least, Lee just ends up shouting once he’s onstage. Incidentally, the song he shouts through was Snow Patrol’s snoozy “Chasing Cars.” Strangely, Simon thinks it’s the best performance of the night.

John Park: Why John Park chooses to do “God Bless The Child” — and a very Vegas-lounge-act rendition, at that — is beyond us. (Actually, he later gives some explanation about his parents’ struggles with money, and how that makes him relate to the lyrics of the song.) It’s simply not the right choice to come out of the gate with, when you’re trying to dazzle America enough to dial your digits at the end of the night. The judges all tell him that he came off as being “too old.” This could be the last we see of John.

Michael Lynch: With acoustic guitar over shoulder, Big Mike takes Maroon 5’s “This Love” and makes it his own. But while he’s got great stage presence while he’s up there jamming along, his vocal performances is just “okay.” In fact, there’s nothing really memorable about it. Simon rightly tells Michael that he was like a support act before the main act at a concert.

Alex Lambert: Nineteen-year-old shy guy Alex really does have an incredible tone to his voice, and he’s actually one of the few who picked a suitable song (in this case, “Wonderful World” by James Morrison). Unfortunately, while he’s singing, he looks like he just saw ghost. Maybe someone ought to tell him how much cash he stands to earn if he actually loosens up a bit and advances in the competition. Simon tells Alex it was the most uncomfortable performance of the night, while Ellen, likes that he’s holding on to the mullet. And compares him to a banana.

Casey James: Like Tyler Grady’s tiresome ’70s rocker routine, the cheesy flirtation between Casey and Kara James must stop. Casey sings Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” directly to Kara, causing the other judges to turn what should be their critique of him into “let’s relentlessly razz Kara” time. Sorry, Simon, you were wrong about Alex being the most uncomfortable performance of the night. The only good part is when Simon calls Kara a cougar.

Andrew Garcia: It’s a rather tepid performance this time around by Andrew. He attempts a fresh take on Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” a la his retooled version of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” during the Hollywood rounds. But it all just comes off as a bit disappointing. Who knows — maybe Andrew Garcia just a one-trick pony who got lucky. Ellen points out that he really needs to shine more.

Best Of The Night: Joe Munoz, for not sucking as bad as most of the other dudes. Once he loosened up, he actually seemed to come alive more than any of his competitors. And that really is the kindest thing we can come up with for these 12. Hopefully it was just an “off” night.

Worst Of Night: Tim Urban, it really is too late to apologize.

Tomorrow night: Idol loses two girls and two guys. And we have a feeling that for Tim Urban, it may just be the end of the line.