5 Songs The Top 9 Will Definitely Not Be Singing Tonight On ‘American Idol’

Tonight, the Top 9 will be performing songs from the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, more specifically from the “Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll” exhibit. The contestants had about 500 songs to choose from, and we all know they’re going to stick with the regular American Idol-tested, mother-approved numbers by the likes of Johnny Cash and U2. Instead of rifling through that list to predict which contestants will sing which songs, we’ve narrowed down the Top 5 songs that don’t have a shot in hell of being performed tonight:

#1. Beck, “Loser”. Rule #1 in competing on American Idol: do not perform anything that could easily become a description of your disappointing performance. Same goes for songs about returning home or not being good enough.

#2. The Velvet Underground, “Heroin”. Don’t really need to explain this one, do we?

#3. Public Enemy, “Fight the Power”. No show as corporate as American Idol is going to encourage anyone to fight any powers.

#4. Queen Latifah, “Ladies First”. If Naima was still on the show, this could be a good prediction of what she might actually perform. But with the one R&B contestant voted off, we can’t imagine anyone attempting to tribute the Queen. (But we’re certainly having a good time daydreaming about Scotty crooning this one in his deep bass.)

#5. The Ventures, “Walk Don’t Run”. Being that it’s instrumental, we really don’t count on seeing this performed tonight. Although, if they did, they couldn’t be criticized for being pitchy!

What other rock and roll songs have absolutely no chance of being performed tonight? Leave your guesses in the comments!