Rihanna In ‘Battleship’: Review Revue

Robbie Daw | May 18, 2012 10:01 am

It feels like we’ve been hearing about the movie adaptation of Hasbro board game Battleship since forever ago, no? Well, the action-packed sci fi film has finally arrived in theaters, and we were as surprised as anyone to find that not all reviewers decided to band together sink this Battleship. Even more interesting: Rihanna, who stars in the flick, is getting fairly decent notices — though it seems she’s not given much to do on screen but shoot some big guns at aliens.

Head below to catch our roundup of what the critics had to say about RiRi’s turn in the latest blockbuster to hit cinemas.

:: Entertainment Weekly gives the movie a favorable review (B+): “It’s Pearl Harbor with greater intelligence, less hokum, and more aliens… We appreciate the pop culture traffic jam that has musical glam girl Rihanna passing muster as a tough (yet cool!) fellow sailor.”

:: The San Francisco Chronicle, however, trashes the film — and RiRi’s dialogue in it: “Who-cares subplots involve [Taylor] Kitsch’s girlfriend (Brooklyn Decker), her daddy the admiral (Liam Neeson, losing the battle with his Irish brogue), a fidgety scientist (Hamish Linklater) and a courageous Army veteran (double amputee Gregory D. Gadson) who utters the film’s worst lines with the most conviction (although Rihanna, playing a petty officer, comes darn close).”

:: The Chicago Tribune finds a bit of merit in the “Where Have You Been” singer’s performance: “What you might not foresee is that Rihanna, playing a weapons expert, doesn’t embarrass herself as an actress; she neither hits the heights of Mariah Carey in Precious, nor the depths of Carey in Glitter, but her work is perfectly serviceable.”

:: MSNBC echoes that sentiment: “…like the game itself, Battleship the movie offers up nothing more than a simple old good time. It delivers decent performances even from unexpected quarters — singer Rihanna and swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker do fine, with Rihanna playing the tough-military-woman role we’ve seen Michelle Rodriguez do so well (and before her, Jenette Goldstein as Vasquez in Aliens).

:: The New York Daily News claims Battleship is the worst humans-fighting-aliens movie ever: “Also wasted is Rihanna, in her movie debut, as a member of Hopper’s crew. Couldn’t someone have devised a scene where music’s slinkiest star dances for even a moment? She simply makes stern faces as she presses buttons…”

:: The Detroit News isn’t climbing aboard, either: “You keep looking for Bruce Willis in a space suit or Bill Pullman as the president. But nope, instead you have pop star Rihanna doing little beyond blasting guns big and small…”

:: Movieline concurs: “Rihanna has the face of a tough little streetcat, appealing and self-reliant, but the movie gives her very little to do (other than hold that big gun).”

:: Finally, AfterElton.com quips, “The trailers have been roundly scoffed at, the promise of pop tart Rihanna defending humanity against an interstellar threat widely ridiculed (will it be revealed that the creatures have a fatal weakness to the sound of someone rhythmically slapping their pubic mound?), and the whole enterprised dismissed as mindless Hollywood nostalgia marketeering at its bombastic worst.”

Are you buying a ticket to catch Battleship this weekend? Did you already see it? Let us know your thoughts on RiRi’s big screen debut below, or by hitting us up on Facebook and Twitter!