Beyonce Poses In A Taxi & Takes Out Blue Ivy, Nothing Else Matters
Well! Beyonce had quite a weekend, didn’t she? And by “quite a weekend,” we mean, “a fairly mundane weekend of doing fairly mundane things, like getting into taxis and holding her daughter,” all of which is elevated to the plane of the divine, because it’s Beyonce and that’s just how it works. So what all happened? Let’s review. Bow down.
Item! See that picture above of Beyonce in the driver’s seat of a cab? She took it this weekend and posted it on Instagram! Sources have not yet been able to confirm whether Beyonce was staging a photo in the front of a taxi (just out of frame is the cabbie genuflecting before King Bey) or if she’s tackling a new career as a New York City cab driver, but the Taxi & Limousine Commission would probably be lucky to have her. She’d always take you to your destination, even in the outer boroughs, and she’d only put her off-duty lights on when she was actually off-duty. Bow down.
Item! Also this weekend, someone snapped a photo of Beyonce carrying a napping Blue Ivy Carter as she walked down Court Street in Brooklyn to a waiting SUV. The curious thing? Blue Ivy looks like she’s about thirteen years old! Actually, no — that’s probably an exaggeration — but she does appear rather big for a one-year-old, which immediately sparked a thousand conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and surrogates and other things. The reality is that Jay-Z and Beyonce just have grand, regal genes. Bow down.
In conclusion: Bow down. Now get back to business.