Cosmo Jarvis Will Most Likely Never Collaborate With Rihanna After This Video

Cosmo Jarvis fires a gigantic missile at testosterone-fueled, sample-happy hip-hop culture in his hilarious new single “Collaborating With Rihanna”. The talented Brit, best known for his cult hit “Gay Pirates”, ditches guitars in favor of generic beats for the biting but possibly career-ending satire.

“I’m gonna steal some melodies from someone’s dubious release, when it came out you were babies,” raps the 23-year-old. He also takes aim at the way women are portrayed in music videos, autotune and professional feature creatures. But what does this have to do with Rihanna?

Well, she’s name-checked in the chorus for starters: “My music’s pretty blah, blah. That’s right I’m no Madonna, so if I’m gonna get some dolla, I’d better sing it with Rihanna.”

The Popping Up artist doesn’t leave it there. A RiRi impersonator is kidnapped by Cosmo’s rap alter-ego ‘Lil Jizz in the video and held at gunpoint until she agrees to work with him.

It’s very funny – in a twisted kind of way – but the greatest achievement of “Collaborating With Rihanna” is that it still sounds better than most of the songs it sends up.