Justin Timberlake Had To Take Back The Night Because Everyone Else Already Tried: Here’s Proof

Carl Williott | July 12, 2013 12:29 pm

Back in 2006, Justin Timberlake declared he was bringing sexy back. At first, nobody realized sexy had even gone away, but soon enough we realized he was oh so right. Today (July 12), Timberlake says he will “Take Back The Night,” and initially we were confused again. First of all, didn’t someone already do that? But then we realized, maybe he was just talking about taking back The Night in the music universe. So who was he taking it back from?

Well it turns out, in music there’s a Game of Thrones-level battle for The Night, with everyone trying to get their grubby mitts on it. 98 Degrees, they were polite enough to request just one night (una noche), but just about every other act out there has at some point been worked up about Thee Night. Pitbull and Havana Brown recently said “We Run The Night,” a bold statement, but modest compared to some of the other pronouncements bandied about in recent music history. Lady Antebellum lament that “We Owned The Night,” ceding their reigns to Tiesto and Wolfgang Gartner who decreed “We Own The Night,” present tense.

The Phantom of the Opera claims his is “The Music Of The Night,” which certainly must have irked Twin Shadow, who will “Beg For The Night.” Because, you see, those who don’t have dominion over The Night obsess over it. A$AP Rocky and Skrillex go “Wild For The Night” and Krewella “Live For The Night.”

Others simply want to woo it. Black Eyed Peas will “Light Up The Night” and Europe will “Rock The Night.” Billy Squier thinks “Lonely Is The Night,” but obviously he doesn’t know shit about The Night. Panic! At The Disco took it out introduced it to new friends that time “When The Day Met The Night.” Plus Yeah Yeah Yeahs went on a “Date With The Night,” which probably didn’t sit well with Martin Solveig after he took “The Night Out.” Van Halen, meanwhile, were just looking for some innocent fun and wanted to “Dance The Night Away.”

But Santana and Chad Kroeger got explicit when they went “Into The Night” (ew), then Bruce Springsteen decided to put “Something In The Night” (ew) and Dan Auerbach let everyone know he likes it “When The Night Comes” (ew). And Frank Sinatra , that old hound, wanted to see some “Strangers In The Night” (ew). M83, however, merely hoped to caress the “Skin Of The Night.”

That was a rough stretch for The Night, and Tiesto must have been stressed as well. Thankfully, Chromeo classed things up and promised to be there “When The Night Falls,” presumably to catch it. Lady Gaga, meanwhile, made a grand gesture by revealing she would “Marry The Night.”

But even Mother Monster couldn’t tie down The Night, and now it’s JT’s turn. But, why all the allure even after The Night is old and grizzled? The Beatles, after all, liked The Night before all this stuff weathered it. It must have that je ne sais quoi…as Patti Smith would simply say, the only reason is “Because The Night.”

So you see, even if My Chemical Romance didn’t “Surrender The Night,” Timberlake would’ve had to take a stand and take back The Night. Unfortunately for Depeche Mode, that means they’ll just have to keep “Waiting For The Night.”

Which songs about The Night did we leave out? Tell us in the comments below, or by hitting us up on Facebook and Twitter!