Chris Brown Passive-Aggressively Claims He’s Retiring From Music

Sam Lansky | August 6, 2013 9:22 am

The haters finally got him down.

Yes, it’s a sad day for Chris Brown fans and a glorious one for everyone else, as the singer passive-aggressively declared on Twitter today that he is retiring from music after being tortured — tortured! — for years by a cruel and unforgiving public. All he did was commit the totally minor infractions of savagely punching, biting and choking his then-girlfriend Rihanna before embarking on a several-years-long path of destruction including a pathological pattern of violence, homophobia, racism, getting the face of a battered woman tattooed on his body, and most recently, a hit-and-run. And we just can’t let this shit go. Here’s the real question: What’s wrong with us, as a society, that we keep punishing Chris Brown for being the worst person alive?

Ah, well. Looks like it finally got the best of him. As the perpetual victim tweeted:

Okay! Sounds good! Bye forever!

[via MTV News]

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