Alison Gold’s “Chinese Food” Tastes Like #@&$!: Watch The Video

Robbie Daw | October 16, 2013 1:08 pm

If you’ve been feverishly clamoring for Ark Music Factory mastermind Patrice Wilson‘s next game-changing move, post-Nicole Westbrook‘s “It’s Thanksgiving,” then have a seat and hit play above. The artful composer has lured in another hapless female tween in the form of Alison Gold, whose parents, we’re guessing based upon past Ark “hits” like “Friday,” ponied up a couple thousand to have their daughter become the laughing stock of the Internet this week.

Here we see blonde-haired Alison over-emote while declaring, “I love fried rice! I love noo-dles!” as Patrice lumbers around in a panda costume, squints and raps about chopsticks and “potsticks” in a faux Asian accent. (Classy touch.) Things get really sensational when, um, Japanese geishas wearing kabuki makeup flank Gold while waving Chinese fans.

With 5.4 million YouTube views of “Chinese Food” in the past two days alone, all we can say is stellar job, Patrice. Keep up the important work.

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