10 Flop Star Dudes Time Forgot…But We Never Will
It was so much fun celebrating pop’s divas who clawed their way to the middle that we’re shining the spotlight on the dudes who did the same. Although they may be more likely today to upsell your fast-food order than to sell out arenas, nothing can take away their brush — however brief — with fame. Wherever you are and whoever you became, pop dudedom’s almost-wases and never-weres, we’ll never stop singing along with you!
Debut album: It’s Already Written (2004) Best Single: “I Like That” Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 11 His Secret Weapon: An unparalleled fork game. His Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “RIP Houston’s eye and career.”
Debut album: Pochette Surprise (Surprise Package) (1992) Best Single: “Dur Dur D’être Bébé! (It’s Tough to Be a Baby)” Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 58 His Secret Weapon: Having more Billboard Hot 100 chart success than Josh Groban, N.W.A., The Smiths, Björk or The Ramones. We repeat: Jordy has had more Billboard Hot 100 chart success than Josh Groban, N.W.A., The Smiths, Björk, or The Ramones. Thanks, Obama! His Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “French people…lol”
8. Simon Van Kempen
Debut album: n/a Best Single: “I Am Real” Billboard Hot 100 Peak: n/a His Secret Weapon: Andy Cohen’s not-so-secret vendetta against all that is good and decent. His Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “u have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! Simon sit down!”