The 7 Most Unexpected Times Janet Jackson Made Us Worship Her
4. “Runaway”
Like an aerobicized lemming of desire, Janet hurls herself off various global landmarks, sustaining nary a scratch due to the computer animation prowess of Miss Zuniga’s fifth-grade class. So the execution is cheap, the concept’s thin but there’s something so magnetic about Janet that by the time she flubs a note and then mentions it, you’re ready for her to throw that Jack Russell terrier aside once more and do it all over again.
THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “everytime i fly i look out the window of the plane looking for janet on the wing.”
5. “2300 Jackson Street”
Okay, first of all: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? (No T, no shade: Rebbie’s gotta eat, okurr?) But even though somebody forgot to write a melody…or a chorus…or an actual song, there’s no denying that this video proves what prophets have been saying for centuries: Even in white jeans, Janet can still slay a house — or the shack at 2300 Jackson Street — DOWN.
THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “Where the fuck is LaToya????”
6.) “Feedback”
While this seXXXy jam may have flopped, it was only because the world wasn’t ready to face the fact that it was “as heavy as a first-day period.” (Are you there God? It’s me, Janet.) Because this is the ultimate Janet—nay, Jackson—video: After straddling, then destroying several worlds, she writhes around rhythmically until the frenzied fabric of reality itself literally shoots its white hot love in appreciation.
THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “A wild Janet appears in a red catsuit…99,999 HP DAMAGE ON ALL OTHER BITCHES”
7.) “Poetic Justice”
The only comfort we’ll have when dear Janet roars her last roar is that this clip, in its entirety, will replace the Oscars and serve as our new national anthem. #aintnoacidinthishouseandthehomeofthebrave
THE YOUTUBE COMMENT VERDICT: “so that woman ate janets punani?”
Get an eyeful of even more pop music coverage, from artist interviews to exclusive performances, on Idolator’s YouTube channel.
