2014 MTV Video Music Awards: Recapping The Madness
I can’t stop crying. We did it, kids…we made it through another year of the MTV Video Music Awards!
The show kicked off with a bang (sort of!), as pint-sized pop tart Ariana Grande crash-landed onto the stage to merrily skip around for a rendition of “Break Free.” Cute! Then came a second bang — err, butt, as our beloved “Pills N Potions” rapstress Nicki Minaj took to her jungle-themed stage (which was snake-free by the way, thanks to an incident over the weekend) to deliver some spot-on booty-ography from her a$$-clapping “Anaconda” video. And then, an ACTUAL “Bang Bang,” as Jessie J arrived to the stage. The powerhouse trio then teamed up on stage, except — eek! Nicki was just barely zipped up into her dress, resulting in an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. But even though the dress totally flopped, she expertly covered her bits and handled it like a total champ.
Along the way, we were treated to a variety of performances of varying quality: 1989 country pop-turned-regular pop darling Taylor Swift shook and shimmied her way through the equally shimmery sounds of “Shake It Off,” Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora brought out their spider strings for a smoky performance of “Black Widow,” Usher (unsuccessfully) attempted to bring his lackluster “She Came To Give It To You” to life with Nicki Minaj, 5 Seconds Of Summer got their stans shaking and crying with “Amnesia,” and Sam Smith had us grabbing tissues with a devastating performance of “Stay With Me” as the The Kardashian Krew eagerly and/or weirdly cheered on from the crowd.
Sometimes host/stand-up comedian Jay Pharoah kept the show dragging, doing “hilarious” impersonations of pop stars too popular to attend including Jay Z (who did pop up later) and Kanye West (who didn’t). And since Rihanna wasn’t in attendance this year (boo!), we were left to supplement her shady side-eyes with lots of Taylor Swift awkward dancing moments and Miley Cyrus spacing out and staring dubiously from the side. Good moments, but not quite as golden as our favorite Navy leader.
As far as award surprises? How about a little bit of female empowerment?! Our girls Fifth Harmony took the crown as Artists To Watch for “Miss Movin’ On” like the true bo$$es they are. And Lorde took the crown for “Royals” which means, for the first time in history, a woman won Best Rock Video category. (What?!) Insane, but luckily it finally happened — even though Lorde could tell you she isn’t exactly rock.
Once again, Miley made a statement at the VMAs — this time for a different, and much more heartfelt, reason.
Rather than coming up to accept the award for Video Of The Year with “Wrecking Ball,” she invited a young man named Jesse to the stage, who read a short speech: “My name is Jesse and I am accepting this award on behalf of the 1.6 million runaways and homeless youth in the United States who are starving, lost and scared for their lives right now. I know this because I am one of these people,” he began. While he addressed the sobering reality of homelessness in Hollywood (and asked for viewers to support a homeless center Miley is supporting on her Facebook page), Miley simply stayed put and teared up from her seat. It was a powerful way to turn the VMAs into something more meaningful than a brand-heavy, dizzying flashes of #content.
Of course, all of this ultimately led up to the show’s most major selling point: Beyoncé. And really, wasn’t this entire show just an extended introduction leading up to a Beyoncé mini-concert? (You know, just like the Super Bowl.)
Upon welcoming us into the World of Beyoncé (why thank you, Bey, how #blessed we are!), the super-diva tore through a majority of the contents of her visual album, sparkling and strutting across the stage while performing cuts like “Mine” “Haunted” and “Blow” in a gorgeous shimmering leotard. “Don’t take your eyes off it,” she demanded at one point during “Rocket,” which was rather unnecessary by this point, considering the world briefly stopped spinning on its axis during that 16 minute stretch of ***flawlessness. Oh, and that award acceptance, complete with Jay and Blue Ivy on stage? All of the tears — on and off the stage.
So, there you have it: Another year down. Surprises/scandals this year? Not so much, apart from Nicki’s wardrobe malfunction.
All in all, the show went off almost exactly as that bizarre video tribute to the late Robin Williams: Rushed “reverence” for art with very little actual substance. But when we were given a moment to actually take in what was happening on stage, like Miley’s speech or Bey’s performance and tearful acceptance speech, there were brief twinkles of greatness…and humanity.
What did you think of the show? Let us know in the comments below.
