‘Scream Queens’: Ariana Grande’s Corpse Makes a Cameo In “Haunted House”
Into the third episode of Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens, all the dead bodies that mysteriously disappeared return to make guest appearances—well all except for that of Nick Jonas. However, no answers to the question of who killed them are revealed. We learn more about the mysterious “bathtub baby” and who might have raised her — that’s right, the bathtub baby was a girl!
At the top of the episode, we find out how much Chanel Oberlin AKA No. 1 (Emma Roberts) loves Halloween. Apparently, she has a tradition of sending her Instagram fans gruesome gifts in honor of what she calls “Chanel-o-ween.” Yawn.
We see just enough to hear a fan say in a video on social media directed to Chanel No. 1: “I would do anything for you.”
Back at the sorority house, cops interview Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis). As a pillar of the community, Munsch looks to be successfully evading incrimination. Wes (Oliver Hudson) and Gigi (Nasim Pedrad) accuse her of being the killer. Munsch’s response is to tell Wes he has to go with her to the faculty Halloween party as her date. I like her style.
Again, impressively ineffective security guard Denise (Niecy Nash) bursts in with some more gory news, as she is wont to do. This time, she announces that a frat boy had both arms sawed off and she thinks it was Zayday (Keke Palmer) who did the deed.
Meanwhile, still on the hunt for the mystery Kappa who was at that fateful sorority party in 1995, Grace (Skyler Samuels) and Pete (Diego Boneta) pop over to what looks like a trailer in the Everglades for a quick chat with the former sorority girl.
Their cover is that they’re trick-or-treating in costume as Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey from How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Meanwhile, their need for a costume disappears in less than 10 seconds when they immediately tell Mandy why they’re really there. Also, Pete gets to do a quick Matthew McConaughey impersonation. The whole thing is so stupid.
In an explicable southern accent, Mandy tells them that it was Dean Munsch and Ms. Bean (Jan Hoag) who came up with the idea to dispose of the dead girl’s body back in 1995. Munsch put hoods on the girls, drove them to a remote location, where they buried her, while one girl (a brunette) stayed back at the house with the baby. After that, they all left school immediately and agreed to have no contact with one other — for their own protection, Munsch said.
But the biggest reveal here is that the Kappa baby was a girl.
The only black member of the Dicky Dollar Scholars, Earl (Lucien Laviscount) approaches Zaday to tell her he supports her bid for the Kappa presidency and encourages her to throw a fundraiser for sickle cell anemia.
Back at the sorority house, Zayday uses the reveal of the jack-o-lanterns the girls have been carving to announce her intention to run for president. Naturally, Chanel No.1 flips out. They face off with threats, murder and the like.
In her bedroom till 3 a.m., Chanel No.1’s knife sharpening is interrupted by concerned Chanels No. 5 and 3. They suggest that to keep the presidency, she throw a haunted pumpkin patch to raise money to cure black hairy tongue disease or something.
Mandy gets murdered in her trailer by the Red Devil.
Hester AKA Chanel No. 6 (Lea Michele) runs into Chad (Glen Powell) in the graveyard and they talk about their shared obsession with death and darkness. When he says he wants to chop up bodies, she whispers lustily, “I feel the same way.” She’s excited at the prospect of Zayday winning the election, so she can kill her and take over from there. She proposes they set up a scary location to meet for their first sexual tryst.
Professor Wes shows another horror film, making him look more and more like a possible murderer. After the students leave, a disturbed Grace asks her father why they never talk about her mother, who conveniently died in a fire that also destroyed all records of Grace’s birth. She flat out asks if she’s the bathtub baby and he says no. She doesn’t believe him, accuses him of being the killer and storms off.
Pete texts Grace to meet him at 53 Shady Lane. She does go there and runs into Pete, Zayday and Earl. Denise arrives to tell them that the abandoned house is haunted. She and Pete then tell in stereo the legend of woman who wailed about her dead children — this is her house. The first record of her wailing started in 1995, the same year the bathtub baby was born. They look upstairs to see a room full of old toys.
Denise corners Zayday and both parties accuse the other of being the killer, which happens pretty much every five minutes on this show.
In the cafeteria, the Chanels hand out fliers to promote the haunted pumpkin patch. As the prepare to feast on a cotton ball lunch, they ultimately cave and decide to get pizza. It’s at this moment that the show decides to take a pseudo-feminist stand and they face off with a frat boy who tells them to smile and be hot. They beat him up and receive a standing ovation. Umm, okay?
Chad and Hester (Chanel No. 6) both received texts to go to 53 Shady Lane, where they meet to find candles lit. After looking around, Hester finds a room where she thinks she’s found the fake dead body of Ms. Bean only to discover the house is full of real dead bodies, those of the Red Devil’s previous murder victims (including Ariana Grande as Chanel No. 2). The two run out screaming.
They end up freaked out in the coffee shop and warn people not to go to 53 Shady Lane, unintentionally enticing everyone to go.
Grace, Zayday and the rest of the crew get to the haunted house and flip when they realize they’re the only ones who know the bodies are real. Zayday calls the police, but they don’t take her seriously and she turns to see the Red Devil, who attacks her.
Back at the sorority house, Grace is filing a missing persons report with the police for Zayday, who’s disappeared.
In an aside, Grace tells Pete the earliest reports of wailing in the house coincide with thefts of diapers and milk. She reveals that the “Hag of Shady Lane” was most likely just taking care of the Kappa baby. At the end of the episode, we see Gigi in the rocking chair in Shady Lane, dressed in the black robe of the “Hag of Shady Lane.” Mystery solved?