‘American Horror Story: Hotel’ Recap: Lady Gaga Throws A Bloody Affair

Bianca Gracie | October 8, 2015 6:20 am
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Mother Monster is back, y’all! Last night (October 7) was the season premiere of FX’s American Horror Story: Hotel, and Lady Gaga definitely nailed her role — no pun intended.

The episode opened with two tall (Swedish?) blondes checking into Hotel Cortez in present-day. The retro and ominous vibes of the hotel — think a more subtle version of The Shining — was an off-kilter backdrop for the modern references (Yelp, Wifi, Fast & Furious, etc). We are then introduced to Kathy Bathes, a desk clerk who couldn’t care less about helping these airhead foreigners. Seriously, who in their right mind would willingly stay at a place that doesn’t have free internet?

After scenes of a mummified monster, an eyeless and tongueless man whose member is stuck inside his dead girlfriend and a triggering moment where a heroin addict gets raped by a literal screw penis, we are introduced to The Countess herself (Gagaloo) and her incredibly hot lover Donovan (played by Matt Bomer). You could hear the faint yelps of “YASSSS GAGA!!! YASSSS SLAYYY!!!!” once she appeared on the screen.

The Countess was the star of the premiere episode, as she sauntered into Cortez’s hallways while rocking a blood-red cloak, a cascade of sparkling jewels and that badass chainmail glove. After sniffing a small mountain of cocaine like a twisted version of Scarface‘s Elvira Hancock, Gaga and Bomer pick up a couple at a film screening and take them to the hotel. But this is not your typical swingers party!

A sparkling pasties-and-thong wearing Countess (Rita Ora, take notes!) completely dominates in the bedroom, as she writhes her body and lips all over the poor, unsuspecting couple who are too deep in heady lust to see the imminent doom. Before they can even reach a climax, the Countess and Donovan whip out their deadly gloves and slice open their sexual victims. The scene is set to “Tear You Apart” by She Wants Revenge (major points for the song selection) and is highly erotic, intriguing and very, very bloody. “And you didn’t feel like going out tonight,” the Countess whispers in her lover’s ear. Whew, is it getting steamy in here??

It was very satisfying to see Lady Gaga completely in her dark element, as her character serves as a more mature and highly sexualized continuation of The Fame Monster era with a “Bad Romance” transforming into something completely murderous. There is obviously not replacing the star of the series, Jessica Lange, who will not appear in this Hotel season. But Mother Monster is quickly proving that she has what it takes to be the next Supreme.

With one episode alone, Hotel is already 100x better than Freak Show ever was (did anyone even finish that season?). Let’s just hope they stick to expanding the plot and not get lost in its own bloody mess.

Did you enjoy the season premiere of AHS: Hotel? Let us know below, or by hitting us up on Facebook and Twitter!