‘Scream Queens’ Recap: Slumber Party Games Slay In “7 Minutes in Hell”
This sixth episode of Scream Queens finds the Kappa girls trapped in their gilded cage of a sorority house, at the mercy of the Red Devil, who raises the body count with several gruesome murders either in or around the Kappa house. Again, I am dismayed to report that Nick Jonas is still nowhere to be found.
It all kicks off with a vote for president that has Chanel Oberlin AKA No. 1 (Emma Roberts) in a tie with Zayday (Keke Palmer). According to the sorority bylaws, they have to be co-presidents together. Chanel No. 1 throws a temper tantrum, directing most of her anger at Chanel No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) and storms off to her bedroom.
In Chanel’s cavernous walk-in closet, Chanels No. 3 (Billie Lourd) and No. 5 arrive to comfort their troubled leader, only to find that Chanel No. 1 was only pretending to be angry that she lost the election. She claims she learned from A&E documentaries on organized crime not to “be a boss in times of extreme crisis.” Apparently, all of her machinations in regards to the presidency were just an elaborate plan to set up Zayday as the Red Devil’s prime target.
The three Chanels arrive downstairs to hand over the full presidency to Zayday, which I’m sure didn’t appear fishy at all to the rest of the pledges.
Grace (Skyler Samuels) chats casually with Zayday about how, you know, the Red Devil is trying to kill them all. Oddly enough, nobody seems to mention that the police and Grace’s allegedly overprotective father (Oliver Hudson) have no issue leaving these girls completely alone for hours at a time. What they do discuss is that a slumber party would be a great way to figure out the identity of the Red Devil because everybody reveals their darkest secrets at slumber parties — duh! It’s like waterboarding, but with more hair braiding.
Despite Chanel No. 1’s objections, the rest of the girls vote yes to the slumber party. In fact, No. 3 is adamant that they play spin the bottle.
At the house of the Dicky Dollar Scholars, they’re…chugging canned tomato sauce? It doesn’t even appear to be some kind of hazing, just what a bunch of preppy dudes like to do once the sun sets. Handsome and inexplicably British member Early Grey (Lucien Laviscount) calls Chad (Glen Powell) out on the fact that he sleeps with older ladies and suggests he should refocus on the popular, more age-appropriate Chanel. From there, Earl suggests they visit the girls on a panty raid because he heard they were having a slumber party.
Meanwhile, the girls play spin the bottle, much to No. 1’s annoyance. No. 3 gets her wish to explore her budding sexuality, and she and Sam (Jeanna Han) kiss passionately. They meet alone in the bathroom, where No. 3 explains that her romantic history has left a trail of unfortunate consequences for all her lovers. She tells Sam, “When I love someone, it drives them insane.”
Because of this, she claims they can never consummate their relationship. I will give huge bonus points to this episode for the line, “Our vaginas may never touch; it’s too dangerous.”
Back downstairs, we see Zayday giving us full-on Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas from the TLC music video for “Red Light Special” realness in some sexy, purple silk pajamas. Never forget, guys. The ladies realize that they’re trapped in the house, with all the doors and windows locked. Grace suspects her dad is behind this, hoping to keep her protected in the house, but No. 1 believes the killer hacked into their panic room-style security system to trap them.
Chad calls No. 1 on her cell, who tells him in a panic what’s going on. He lets her know they’re on their way there already for a panty raid. Chad climbs up the side of the house with a ladder and uses a baseball bat to break the glass and climb inside. That’s when everyone spots the Red Devil on the sidewalk. The rest of the Dicky Dollar Scholars hustle up into the house, except for the armless frat bro, who meets his demise at the edge of the Red Devil’s axe.
Back inside and undeterred by the grisly attack that took place outside, Zayday insists they now all play Truth Or Dare. No. 5 goes first, and No. 1 asks if her vagina has teeth. Upset at the implication, No. 5 rushes off, crying.
Next up is Sam, whom No. 1 asks to reveal No. 3’s deepest darkest secret. At this point, Sam confesses that No. 3 is Charles Manson‘s daughter. No. 3 is furious, daring Sam to go down into the basement to take a nap in the infamous bathtub.
In the kitchen, Hester AKA Chanel No. 6 (Lea Michele) tries to flirt with Chad. However, he’s now weirded out by her and tells her that he’s with No. 1 again. Hester tells him ominously, “I don’t stop until I get what I want,” just before they’re interrupted by a suspicious No. 1.
Next party game is 7 Minutes In Heaven and No. 1 announces that she and Chad will go first. They traipse into a giant closet, where they make out and Chad asks to reconcile with her. The condition No. 1 gives him is that they be monogamous, which he promises to be with a pinky swear.
After they leave, No. 3 and Roger step into the closet for their allotted seven minutes. However, they’re interrupted by Hester’s screams from the basement, where she apparently found Sam dead in the bathtub. Chanel immediately accuses Hester of the murder and orders her to be locked in a closet.
Still horny, No. 3 and Roger (Aaron Rhodes) return to the closet to resume their seven-minute tryst when the Red Devil appears and kills Roger in front of No. 3 with a nail gun. An actual tear streams down Abigail Breslin’s cheek and I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that this woman is an Academy Award-nominated actress. #BringingIt
The gang arrives to No. 3’s screams. Immediately, No. 1 accuses No. 5 and Hester of being the two Red Devil killers. Chad finds a secret trap door in the closet that apparently leads to secret tunnels under the house. Zayday and No. 1 volunteer to go explore down there, but not before No. 1 also accuses Grace’s absentee boyfriend, Pete (Diego Boneta), of being one of the Red Devils.
The two co-presidents traverse the beautifully-tiled tunnels by candlelight, which illuminates the portraits of past sorority presidents. Suddenly, the Red Devil appears with two axes. They run away and Zaday falls, while No. 1 escapes. The Red Devil grabs Zayday and attacks but she manages to evade him just in time for Chanel to bonk him over the head.
In the morning, the police and Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) finally arrive at the house, apparently, now remembering that there’s a serial killer on the loose targeting these women. Grace’s dad also arrives and Peter texts Grace. She looks at the text suspiciously and then has a tiff with her dad, refusing to leave the sorority house, despite the obvious danger. Her father relents, but storms off, angry. I’m sure he won’t regret throwing a tantrum and leaving his daughter behind in a murder house.
No. 3 admits to No. 5 that she was in love with Sam. No. 5 confesses that she’s sad that Roger and Dodger were murdered. They bond over their shared loss and make a pact to outlive No. 1.
No.1 comes downstairs and gives everyone pink nunchucks for their protection, in lieu of weapons they can actually use. The episode ends with an impromptu dance party and the remaining Kappa girls dance to ’80s music, but not before we catch a glimpse of the Red Devil peeking inside a window. Spooky.