11 Flop Star Groups Time Forgot (But We Never Will)

Jonathan Riggs | May 19, 2016 9:39 am

Stardom’s a rare dish, and sometimes you only get a tiny slice of the pie rather than the entire thing. (It’s like the Good Book says: “For every Timberlake, there is a Kirkpatrick.”)

As much as we love pop’s minor divas, starletsdudes and dreams, there’s a special place on our heart-charts for the star power-pooling acts where two — or three, four or more — weren’t better than one.

11. Las Ketchup

Debut album: Hijas del Tomate (2002)Best Single: “The Ketchup Song (Aserejé)”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 54Their Secret Weapon: The world’s love of powerful, poetic lyrics that stir the soul and speak eternal truths.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “The most annoying thing about this music video is that they’re acting like they’re hot numbers, but they look like slapped cunts.”

10. The Moffatts

Debut album: It’s A Wonderful World (1994)Best Single: “Misery”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: n/aTheir Secret Weapon: Being Canada’s answer to Hanson, eh.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “moffats’s song bring my teenage dream”

9. Blaque

Debut album: Blaque (1999)Best Single: “808 (Remix)”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 8Their Secret Weapon: At last: an anthem putting the world’s bad-at-boinking triflin’ hos on blast…”babe!”Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “Well this is bullshit….I just about threw my back out from tryin to twerk to dis shit…..mmmm hmmmm….shit still sound good. Now, if you’ll excuse me….I need to get some Ben-Gay……”

8. 702

Debut album: No Doubt (1996)Best Single: “Where My Girls At?”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 4Their Secret Weapon: A song title that sent shudders down every grammar teacher’s spine.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “So the dancers in the red must be the chicken heads”

7. Crush

Debut album: Crush (1997)Best Single: “Jellyhead”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 72Their Secret Weapon: A shoulda-been-a-slam-dunk Smucker’s endorsement.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “Complete Trash!!”

6. 3LW

Debut album: 3LW (2000)Best Single: “I Do (Wanna Get Close to You)”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 58Their Secret Weapon: The surprisingly large crossover between R&B and Louisa May Alcott fandoms.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “Yall not destiny child”

5. Cleopatra

Debut album: Comin’ Atcha! (1998)Best Single: “Cleopatra’s Theme”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 5Their Secret Weapon: An unprecedented steampunk-goggles-and-braids game.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “Oh man, I remember being 7 and seeing them on Disney Channel and thinking this song was THE SHIT, y’all.”

4. The Wanted

Debut album: The Wanted (2010)Best Single: “Glad You Came”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 3Their Secret Weapon: The tragic irony of their name.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “Hasn’t been the same since Zayn left the group.”

3. Shampoo

Debut album: We Are Shampoo (1994)Best Single: “Trouble”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: n/aTheir Secret Weapon: “Yas, Rita Repulsa, YAAAAS!Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “Shampoo came up with ‘Girl Power’ before the Spice Girls did.”

2. Mis-Teeq

Debut album: Lickin’ On Both Sides (2001)Best Single: “Scandalous”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 35Their Secret Weapon: Scoring this classic Catwoman scene.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “I remember when I first heard this song back in 03 I was jacking off and now im 24 years old and still jacking off”

1. The Gonnabees

Debut album: Queen of Pop (2004)Best Single: “Queen of Pop”Billboard Hot 100 Peak: 1 (in a just world)Their Secret Weapon: SCALPING Britney, Janet and every other pretender to the crown out there in a jam that sent SHOCKWAVES through the industry…or at least a back alley dumpster in Van Nuys.Their Most Eloquent YouTube Defender: “ok this is the only place i can find this song …. why is that”

Which of your fave pop flops did we leave out this time around? Let us know below!