Zayn Malik Talks Eating Disorder And Anxiety In His Autobiography
Zayn Malik has released a few excerpts in anticipation of his autobiography, Zayn (out November 1), in which he spoke about the writing process behind “Pillowtalk” and the one subject he wasn’t allowed to sing about when he was in One Direction. But in his most recent snippet, the pop star revealed that he struggled with an eating disorder while he was in the boy band.
“When I look back at images of myself from around November 2014, before the final tour, I can see how ill I was,” Malik wrote in the book. “Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder.”
He continued, “It wasn’t as though I had any concerns about my weight or anything like that, I’d just go for days – sometimes two or three days straight – without eating anything at all. It got quite serious, although at the time I didn’t recognize it for what it was. I think it was about control. I didn’t feel like I had control over anything else in my life, but food was something I could control, so I did.”
Malik also spoke about his battle with anxiety, which has caused him to cancel shows for his solo tour in the past.
“On the morning of the 2016 Capital Radio Summertime Ball, an anxiety attack hit me like a fucking freight train,” he said. “When my management team came over to see what was wrong, I was on total psychological lockdown. I would make a move to walk out of the house, to get into a car that would then drive me to Wembley, but I could only manage a few paces before I hit an imaginary wall. It stopped me in my tracks, and I would have to sit down again.”