MTV Video Music Awards 2015 Recap: Nicki Vs. Miley, Kanye For President & Miley’s Nipple

Carl Williott | August 30, 2015 10:07 pm
Nicki Comes For Miley
Watch Nicki Minaj respond to Miley Cyrus' recent comments.

The curtain has dropped on the annual carnival of douche-bauchery that is the MTV Video Music Awards and now we must recap it for the coming fall content harvest, just as the prophecies foretold.

It was a pretty scattered event on Sunday (August 30), with a drone of boring, forgettable advertainment (e.g. host Miley Cyrus talking about her Instagram for approximately three hours during the monologue) occasionally interrupted by some legitimate “rush to Twitter to see what everyone’s saying” water cooler moments. Not manufactured ones like the Miley-Robin Thicke fake twerk controversy. Real things. So that’s all I’m gonna talk about here, because if you want a recap of the boring shit, you are free to go read MTV’s roundup to get all your flying-Justin-Bieber and Iggy-Azalea-cameos-nobody-asked-for news.

Let’s start with Nicki Minaj putting Miley on blast in a heel turn worthy of pro wrestling. Miley seemed legitimately flustered in the moment, but she gathered herself and shaded Nicki in return while also backing her way out of the fight, all while talking in the Brick “loud noises” manner to I guess give off a blowfish, puffed-up intimidation effect. It was not intimidating. But it was very uncomfortable! And it was the most authentic thing to happen on the VMAs in years, or at least felt like it if it all turns out to be some expertly executed stunt.

And it was followed by something even more authentic, which was Kanye West‘s acceptance speech for his Video Vanguard award. West, as usual, was equal parts gracious, arrogant, long-winded, poignant, belligerent, emotional and funny. He was introduced by Taylor Swift and much of the speech highlighted how much that Swift interruption has gone on to shape his entire career direction and life perspective. He’s already addressed it in interviews, about how it inspired My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, but the speech showed how there’s a depth to viral/meme-able moments that you never really think about beyond their ability to fuel jokes on Twitter. One person’s viral chuckle is another person’s career-defining crossroads — this would all sound much more profound if you were on whatever strain Ye was smoking before the show.

Also, Ye announced he’s running for president in 2020, so look out, Trump.

After that, you had to know that Miley’s primo sideboob was only going to be the appetizer, but you probably didn’t think you’d get the full course. Welp, the “edgy” star momentarily flashed her bare breast on live TV in a moment that maybe could’ve been an accident but then why was the camera on her as she was changing behind a curtain and also she just last week reminded everyone of her campaign to expose nipples so yeah it was planned but it was still a boob on live national television so that’s newsworthy and maybe the first actually edgy thing she’s done?

Oh, and apparently some awards were given out for various videos? As expected, Taylor Swift‘s friend carousel “Bad Blood” took home Video of the Year, and she had her chain gang of friends in tow as she accepted it. That’s the only award that matters at this thing despite what the Video With A Message category would like you to believe.

To close things out, Cyrus performed with The Flaming Lips and after finishing, she announced that her new album Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz was available for free. As the perfect capper to the night, the site where she directed fans to get it was down for over an hour after the announcement. So we can’t even hear this supposedly garbage (but free garbage!) album after enduring three hours of garbage youth culture.

One last thing: Our thoughts and prayers go out to whoever MTV’s FCC liaison is. And NBC’s, come to think of it.