Sex tape terrorist Gene Simmons is attempting to explain away the lovemaking session that scarred us forever (link, as always, most assuredly NSFW) when it leaked to a wholly unprepared Internet last week by claiming that the VHS abomination is “decades old” and has long been in the clutches of an… More »
jess@idolator: Nothing going on this morning, eh?
maura@idolator: Ugh. Just the [alleged] Gene Simmons sex tape. [Ed. Note: Link not safe for ANYTHING, let alone work.]
maura@idolator: Did you hear what song was playing in the background?
maura@idolator: (I didn’t watch; I just read about it.) [Ed. Note: Riiiiiiight.]
jess@idolator: I did not, no.
maura@idolator: “I Want To Know What Love Is”
jess@idolator: Well I mean who hasn’t “made love” to that?
maura@idolator: I wonder what else gets Gene in the mood?
Good question, Maura! (Even if normal folks would rather imagine the family members of their choice getting it on atop a pile of newly dead bodies than think of Gene Simmons in (makeup-free) flagrante.) Since “I Want To Know What Love Is” clocks in at around 5:00 and the tape lasts a respectable (if not Sting-level) 10:00, one must assume that Gene had a second song picked to round out his 1/6th of an hour spent in the act of physical love with his Australian energy drink spokeslady. But what was it?
As many of you already know, American television is going entirely
high-definition* digital in 2009, which now means the opening half of this sentence has nothing to do with the technology of high-definition TV’s promising us a world where we’ll be able to count the nose hairs on our favorite stars in real time and without the aid of gossip blog paparazzi snaps. Maura recently converted to HD herself, and though certain music videos (she cites Justice’s “D.A.N.C.E.” as an example) look totally rad, the drawbacks of this industry-wise format change are already becoming apparent to music fans. It’s all good when it’s a luminous Rihanna strutting across that expensive plasma flat screen, but what about being confronted with Rascal Flatts at a resolution the human psyche was not intended to process? As we await our blemish-filled immediate future, please help us decide which musician will prove to be the least HD-friendly when the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31.
Gene Simmons’ areas of expertise don’t just extend to ladies of the night and plastic surgery; he’s also well-versed in the value of a dollar, as evidenced by his willingness to license the KISS brand to anything and everything that it can be slapped on. So naturally, he has some thoughts about the current “recorded music should be free” rhetoric that’s sweeping the bandwidth-blessed nooks of the world, and guess what? Where some techno-utopianists see a beautiful world of free songs for all, he sees nothing but a bunch of flawed business models and freckled crooks.
Kiss’ Gene Simmons is “up to [his] neck writing [his] next book: ‘Ladies Of The Night–A Historical And Personal Overview Of The Oldest Profession’ on our Simmons Books/Phoenix Books imprint. It should be finished by spring.” Finally, the impetus to restart the long-stalled Idolator Book Club! More »
In keeping with today’s general mood, Blabbermouth has posted shocking revelations about Gene Simmons love life. And ladies, it’s straight from the big man’s very own Web page, so you know it’s 100% real talk:
In honor of Gene Simmons’ birthday, a minor-league baseball team will wear “KISS-inspired jerseys” on Aug. 25. More »
The dozens of people who regularly tune into the Gene Simmons Osbournes ripoff Family Jewels will be able to get even further inside the Kiss bassist’s head next month: So why did the Kiss frontman and former Playboy Playmate of the Year decide to go for dual face lifts on two episodes airing… More »
It’s been a few weeks since we stopped by Gene Simmons’ delightful blog, in which he answers ALL of his readers’ mail, usually responding with the sort of tetchy terseness that makes you wonder: “Why does he even bother writing back?” More »
Ex-Kiss guitarist Vinnie Vincent lost a Supreme Court appeal Monday in a dispute over royalties with his former bandmates. More »