It’s the age-old pop star dilemma: the more famous you get, the younger your fans get–to the point where eventually, you may find yourself legally unable to put your penis in them. How does an unwitting rock and roll Barney deal with this awkward situation? If you’re Bret Michaels, you tell yourself that girls young enough to be your illegitimate daughter have been brought to your concerts by your “realness,” rather than the fact that you remind them of their negligent father if he wore guyliner. You stick to your guns, play the music you want to play, incorporate more western iconography into your poodle rock and almost two decades later, people watching your Vh1 reality dating show will see what a totally credible bad-ass you are. And so will the New York Times‘ Sunday Styles section.
Last night, Bret Michaels continued his run of TV exposure with an appearance on Don’t Forget The Lyrics, a show that, I admit, I would probably completely suck on because I am the queen of making syllables up to fit the words of certain songs. He gave up after being tripped up by the pre-chorus to Slade’s “Cum On Feel Tha Noize,” a song which he claims he can get right when he’s in his car. But can he get the melody right? Because there was a run of pretty rough notes there at the beginning. Cleanse your ears with Kevin DuBrow’s interpretation of the track, which is after the jump.
Look who the cops dragged in: Poison drummer Rikki Rockett was arrested on a strong-arm rape warrant after he arrived in the U.S. from a trip to New Zealand on Monday, according to reports. More »
Bret Michaels is releasing his autobiography this fall, and as MetalSucks notes, it will be sure to not be as interesting as either The Dirt or anything Poison guitarist C.C. DeVille would commit to paper. More »
I noted during last night’s Idol eliminations that the harmonizers of Boyz II Men would be on Don’t Forget The Lyrics, the song-remembering game show that sends its viewers rushing to Google during its commercial breaks. More »
I was wondering when someone was going to make a stink about the videos of nekkid chicks–taken, I believe, from Russ Meyer’s body of work–that were projected behind Poison during one song of their set on their summer tour. Thanks for restoring my faith in America, people of Douglas County, Oregon! More »
Bret Michaels will be taking a break from affronting reality TV viewers and old Poison fans to affront Guitar Hero players in the game’s third installment, where he’ll be wanking out a version of “Talk Dirty To Me.” Wait, Michaels and not C.C.? My god this unconscionable ass is an attention whore. More »
Audiences for this summer’s Poison tour have ranged from “anemic” to “entirely absent.” Maybe the promise of a comedy routine by C.C. DeVille would help sell tickets? Or are people just refusing to pay money to see the latest incarnation of Ratt on principle? More »