A few weeks back, we questioned the wisdom of hiring Sting to make a cameo on the bark-at-the-moon-crazy Bizaaroworld that is Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. But Aaron Sorkin didn’t listen to us–he was too busy ensuring that the next episode would have enough nonsensical blue-versus-red dialogue–and now the show is hovering under the axe.
We’ve said it many times here on Idolator, but apparently people still don’t realize that Sting is 100 percent, undeniably, certifiably jinxed. Employing him not only proves how out-of-touch you are with the listening public, but dooms your project to failure. The minute we saw him serenade Matthew Perry with that lute, we knew Studio 60 was a goner. For those who need further proof, check out this long litany of failed Gordon Sumner side-projects:
–Tracks magazine, which featured a frowny-faced Sting on the cover of the premiere issue; it was discontinued after eight issues.
–The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen, Terry Gilliam’s 1988 fiasco in which Sting made a cameo appearance.
–The Emperor’s New Groove, a 2000 animated Disney film for which Sting composed a number of songs, only to have them scrapped at the last minute (his music was also sadly absent from the straight-to-video follow-up, Kronk’s New Groove).
–Dune, a goddamn mess no matter how many times they recut it.
–The Sweatbox, a documentary about the making of Groove that was directed by Sting’s wife and frequent Tantric recipient, Trudie Styler; it was completed in 2002, and, for legal reasons, remains unreleased.
–The 1994 hit “All For Love,” featuring Sting alongside Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams; after this one single, the three men were never to perform together again.
Oh, and remember that “Do They Know It’s Christmas” song? They still don’t know. We asked.