Enter The 36 Chambers Of Love: Wu Member Dispenses Romantic Advice

Oct 30th, 2006 // 3 Comments

ugod.jpgU-God, of the Wu-Tang Clan, gave his MySpace friends a gift today: A list of 14 things anyone in a relationship needs to know in order to keep their lover happy, from not ruining the laundry to avoiding psychobabble during relationship chats. And he must be doing something right: just look at all of the exhibitionistic ladies sprinkled among his top friends.

U-God’s list, in all its all-caps, merch-hawking glory, after the jump.

1.HOW TO COOK YOUR LOVERS FAVORITE MEAL .

2.HOW TO BE AFFECTIONATE WHILE BEING SEXUAL .

3.HOW TO SHARE YOUR FELLING WITH OUT DUMPING THEM ON YOUR PARTNER.

4.HOW TO DO THE LAUNDRY WITH OUT DESTROYING YOUR PARTNERS CLOTHING .

5.HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE WITH OUT CONTROLLING .

6.HOW TO LISTEN ACTIVELY INSTEAD OF PASSIVELY .

7.HOW TO GROW TOGETHER INSTEAD OF APART ,

8.HOW TO BE INDEPENDENT WITH OUT BEING DISTANT

9.HOW TO BE DEPENDENT WITHOUT BEING CO DEPENDENT

10.HOW TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELING WITHOUT USING (PSYHCHO-BABBLE)

11.HOW TO MAKE LOVE IN THAT SPECIAL WAY THAT YOUR PARTNER LOVES SO VERY MUCH.

12.HOW TO GIVE A REALLY SKILLFULL Massage .

13.HOW TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP YOUR NUMBER 1 PRIORITY AMIDS LIFES MANY DEMANDS .

14.HOW TO CHOOSE GIFTS THAT YOUR PARTNER WILL LOVE

P.S THIS FOR ALL THE COUPLES OUT THERE IF YOUR NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU MIGHT NOT UNDRSTAND (THIS IS GROWN FOLK SHITE )OR PEOPLE WITH SOME TYPE OF SENSE TO MAKE THERE LOVER HAPPY UGZILLA COP THOSE WU HOODIES FOR THE WINTER I GOTTEM $$$$

U-God [MySpace]

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  1. MJ

    Awww, he’s cute, he tries. I’m sure all the Sluttyh0r3244s out there appreciate it.

  2. Chris Molanphy

    Goddammit, why is Dave Chappelle off the air? ‘Cuz Wu-Tang Love Potion would be the ideal sequel to Wu-Tang Financial:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=hT-AfiMSWjE

    Wu-Tang Financial…because at the end of the day, Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

  3. ozacrot

    1. It’s cute when he tells you how important it is not to dump fellings, but by the time he gets to “know how to do laundry”, we have fallen through the floor of things that can be considered advice, and suddenly we’re in Truism County.

    2. Also, musicians who can’t spell.

    3. Also, why is “Massage” the only caps-unsaturated word in the message?

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