Mystery ’90s Frontman Gets Ready To Shed Clothing, Decency For VH1

Now that VH1 Classic is pillaging the 1990s’ video archives, it only makes sense that the next reality-romance trainwreck on its sister network will feature a rock star from that decade. We came across the following casting call today:

VH1 and the producers of THE SURREAL LIFE and MY FAIR BRADY bring you the hottest relationship show ever… ”ROCK OF LOVE”.

CASTING: Twenty bachelorettes to live in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills and compete for the love of one of the 90’s HOTTEST ROCKERS. We are unable to announce who this single rocker is at this time, but…He is the real deal. A famous, sexy, bad boy rocker. He was the lead singer of a famous 90’s rock band and he still tours today!

A sexy bad boy who still tours today? After the jump, we offer a few guesses as to the would-be bachelor’s identity.

Candidate: Adam Duritz, Counting Crows. Why He’s Perfect For This: Anyone who inspires full-back tattoos should be able to lure a comely lass or two into the hot tub. Fatal Flaw: Previous relationship with Trishelle from The Real World has probably turned him off reality-TV ladies for good.

Candidate: Stephan Jenkins, Third Eye Blind. Why He’s Perfect For This: Fits the profile, if playing shows for a mortgage company in Vegas counts as “touring.” Fatal Flaw: Dopey enough to tell a reporter, “What kind of sexual is the Dalai Lama? I want to be that.”

Candidate: Steve Harwell, Smashmouth. Why He’s Perfect For This: Has already displayed willingness to scrape bottom of pop-cultural barrel with appearances on Surreal Life, Shrek soundtrack. Fatal Flaw: No matter how famous it might make them, most women won’t get turned on by someone giving “All Star” a super-sensitive reading.

Candidate: Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit. Why He’s Perfect For This: A little bit of VH1 nookie is nothing compared to Durst’s past caught-on-tape exploits. Fatal Flaw: Even though we haven’t heard from him in years, he’s still overexposed.