Special Guest Columnist: Weasel, The Puppy Born Without Ears

From time to time, Idolator solicits commentaries from the general public. This week’s entry is from Weasel, the puppy born without ears. Weasel has some interesting things to say, and we hope you’ll make him feel right at home.

Hello, I am Weasel, the puppy born without ears.

I have no ears.

Because of this, I have to do things differently than other puppies: I cannot respond to commands. I cannot balance well. And I cannot hear if someone comes home while I am on the computer (I am only allowed two hours a day, tops, but am a total Facebook addict).

I can, however, read the Sunday New York Times. And I was very interested in this most recent story about how VH1 is becoming more celeb-focused. First off, it seemed a little old to me; I feel as though I’ve read this story a dozen times before, and I’m just a 10-month-old puppy–albeit, a 10-month-old puppy who mistakes the rustling breeze for the distant whistle of a long-lost friend.

Sigh.

But reading the Times story also made me sad. Sad because they have all these smarty-type people working at VH1–people who know their lowbrow from their highbrow–and yet all of these people have convinced themselves that Flavor Of Love (which I have heard about without actually hearing, if you dig) is a noble pursuit. Why is that? Do they not realize that they’re not covering our increasingly asinine culture, but dictating it? Do they think we will let them off the hook just because The White Rapper Show is pretty good? When they go to their ivy-league fundraisers, do they not feel a tinge of self-hate when they tell doctors and scientists about the show where a woman poopied on Flavor Flav’s rug?

Do they really think we can’t see through their lies?

Again: I am young, and without ears. But even I hope for a time when the supposedly smart culture-barons stop trafficking in meaningless B.S. For shame on you, upper-tier VH1 staffers! You will have to live with generations of youngsters who cannot find Iraq on a map, but who talk at length about “Square Pegs”!

Woof!

Weasel, the Puppy Born Without Ears