Meet “Donny The Downloader,” The Cartoon Kid Who Will Save Music

slide01.jpgWe’re not quite sure how we missed ASCAP’s Donny The Downloader, “a multi-media school assembly program” designed to dissuade children from stealing music that debuted earlier this year. Donny is a junior high nudnik “unaware of the bigger picture of why illegal downloading hurts the same performing artists and songwriters whose music he loves.” Donny’s cartoon misadventures are cut with live-action footage of “real-life, 17-year-old aspiring music creator Sonya Bender,” who interviews various doommongering industry types about the death of the record industry. And the following transcript should give you some idea how effective the Donny program will be in reaching American middle schoolers.

Donny: Yo, what’s up?

Counter man: Welcome to Jester Burger, you want to ubersize your ……

[interrupted by ringtone]

Fat ringtone dude, that’s Walrus Tusk from ’72!

Donny: Who knows Yo, some poser I downloaded, still livin’ large off his one hit millions, no doubt!

Counter man: Actually no, he’s divorced with 3 kids and working counter duty at Jester Burger. You want fries with that?

Are they serious? Who knows, yo! Obviously they’re dead serious, even if the video excerpt from Donny on the ASCAP site looks like it was dreamed up by Saturday Night Live‘s Robert Smigel and the “interactive component, where students perform a special “Donny” skit to help reinforce what they’ve learned” seems designed to goad surly pubescents into a riot. On the bright side, it certainly doesn’t look like a ton of money went into it.

Donny The Downloader [ASCAP]

  • Halfwit

    “If it’s free… it’s like air, it’s like water. It’s disposable.”

    Wow… I need to learn how she’s been able to take air and water for granted like that… save a lot of energy in a day, I’d imagine.

    I also wonder if the complete video will show Sonya’s dreams being dashed, ending with her singing naked on a stage with only a guitar covering her body.

  • Anonymous

    does anyone know of a good torrent site where i can download this illegally? i hate paying The Man.

  • cassidy2099

    Classic case of “They can’t be serious”, but they absolutely are.

  • Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    You know how to stop illegal downloading? Fruit pies! Music pirates get so excited by their flakey crusts and sugary sweet filling that they forget all about stealing some poseur’s millions.

  • mike a

    This should work about as well as the “Just Say No” ads did a decade ago. Right?

  • El Zilcho!

    I’ll tell you, though. That first Walrus Tusk album is criminally underrated. I think we were just a few years out from the next crop of indie rock bands copping that fat Walrus Tusk sound for their albums.

    Unfortunately, with OiNK gone, they have nowhere to find Walrus Tusk songs. Ergo, Walrus Tusk will never be rediscovered, and they won’t be able to get together for the big reunion tour that all the hipster kids would flock to. No concert big bucks for the guys in Walrus Tusk, thanks to ASCAP.

  • King of Pants

    Donny the Downloader on the left, Olive the Oinkster on my right, and the Angel of Death behind me.

  • Tenno

    I watched like two seconds of that, shrieked and the downloaded the new Saul Williams.

    I’m sticking with free, the ASCAP side is too fucking lame. Yo.