For some reason, my birthday brings out the naughty side in female British singers, both those temporarily relevant and those who are, well, not so much. I’m not sure why, but there’s not much I can do about it, you know? In case you were wondering what’s going through the minds of Mel B. and Duffy these days, here’s the mildly titillating lowdown.
Spice Girl and fairly good ballroom dancer Mel B. would receive a gold medal for sex if there were such a category in the Olympics. I, for one, can’t see why not… after all, they give out medals for badminton. Scary Spice told Fabulous, “I’ve always felt sexy. I’ve never looked in the mirror and moaned about the way I look. I have boobs, a bum and a bit of a lazy eye but I’m comfortable with myself. Me and Stefan have a pretty hot sex life and I admit I look quite good in my underwear or bikini.” A model for women everywhere, Mel!
Meanwhile, Welsh singer Duffy told the Observer that in the absence of her very own Stefan, singing “Mercy” is an acceptable sex substitute: “I sing ‘Mercy’ several times a day and it’s just like having sex every time.” Not exactly how it makes me feel to listen to it, but so be it. However, just because she’s dedicating all her energy to her career at this point doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a few lonely nights. “Room service, burger and chips, some kind of shitty foreign film–it’s not quite what you want when you get back into a nice hotel room.” Oh, Duffy, I doubted your ability to understand the pain that infuses true soul music, but you’ve proved me wrong.