Yahoo! has announced this year’s recipients of the “is there anyway we can pawn this thing?” Purple Award. The Purple Award — signified by a large set of purple headphones, apparently — is given for any song that reaches ten million total views/streams/whatever across the Yahoo! family of sites. And the list of winners is like the pop mixtape from hell. The music business needs another award like they need a new Bluegrass Tribute to the Shins disc, but if nothing else, the Purple Award allows you to look down on other people’s taste.
Snow Patrol, “Chasing Cars” (above)
Ne-Yo, “Sexy Love”
Pink, “U + UR Hand”
James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”
Panic at the Disco, “I Write Sins, Not Tragedies”
Omarion, “Ice Box”
Akon, “Don’t Matter”
Christina Aguilera, “Hurt”
Beyonce’ f/Jay Z, “Deja Vu”
Chamillionaire f/Krayzie Bone, “Ridin’”
Something seems a little fishy about the selection process, since the exact same number of awards were given out last year. One would assume the number of total views has gone up over the last twelve months, but who knows? Yahoo! claims a third party verifies the results, and who’s to question Yahoo!? Still, no music harder than Panic at the Disco? No Finger Eleven? Where is the ever present T-Pain?
At very least, let’s hope this finally closes the book on our long James Blunt nightmare. You have your useless award, Blunt, now get the hell out of here.
PURPLE POWER [HITS Daily Double]