Lily Allen is the subject of the BBC documentary, Lily Allen: Riches To Rags (Ed. note: jeez, what a miserable title), and in the TV special, the currently retired pop star freely discusses her two miscarriages, as well as suffering an eating disorder.
Allen — who recently blasting Kanye West for his insensitive tweets regarding abortion — suffered a miscarriage in 2008, and just two years later, lost her second child six months into her pregnancy. “It was a really long battle,” she says in the doc, which was filmed several months ago. “And I think that kind of thing changes a person.”
She also was brutally honest about losing weight through bulimia. “I used to vomit after meals,” she says. “It’s not something I’m proud of. But, I tell you what, a lot of people came up to me telling me how great I looked and I’d be on the cover of every magazine. I thought I looked good and it was great to be able to try on clothes and feel a million dollars. But I wasn’t happy, I really wasn’t.”
She continues: “I would love to be the skinniest minniest person in the world but I can’t do that without being unhappy — I like food.”
“I’m a pop star, not a model. Don’t make me feel shit for not being really skinny and having an eating disorder.”
Heartbreaking. We remember reading Allen’s MySpace blog back in 2007, when she posted a photo of her crying, along with a post declaring that she had “fallen victim to the evil machine. I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle, I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery, and laser lipo suction.” (She followed that post up with another, reassuring her fans that she felt better and “sha’nt be getting any surgery, instead I will be eating lots of bread and pasta and thinking about what to write about for the next album.”)
Of course, being happy with yourself and how you look is not an overnight process, and we wish Lily the best. Besides, there is a bright spot in her future — she’s getting married to longtime boyfriend Sam Cooper this year, and as far as we know, her Bridget Jones’ Diary musical is still a go.
The documentary, which also showcases Allen opening a vintage boutique store with her sister, airs on March 15 in the U.K.